The Secret to Staying Calm (in Motherhood and Beyond)

“What’s your secret to staying calm while raising five young children?” she asks.

She basically puts her hand on my shoulder to stop me from walking away from her in passing.

No, really? Her eyes ask the question loudly.

I want to tell her it’s the whole “going to bed around 9pm” thing, that if I can just get enough sleep, I’ll be rested enough to be happy the next morning. And a lot of the time, I do say this to other moms when they ask for “my secret.” I want them to know it’s important we get our rest, just like the mothers who have gone before us try to press upon us. Rest is necessary (see Mark 22:27).

Sister, I say to her, why don’t you lie down while the baby naps? (Sometimes we aim to do too much, all in good efforts, yet at the expense of our physical & mental capacities.)

I mean, I napped daily for about 5 years. Naps are so life-giving for me mentally. Can you relate? One time, my OB said a mother not getting enough sleep was a form of mistreatment to her body. And after hearing that, I ran with it . . . Naps for everyone, including mama!

But more than snuggling down for a daily nap, it’s also that I’ve fully submerged myself in Christ. This has been a practice I began to prioritize a couple of years ago. So, it’s a little new for me, too, but the fruit of it is strong :)

When my hands and heart are grasping for something, it helps to have something worthy of my grasp. I mean – really, it’s all God working in me, but I think it helps to have a tender heart toward change.

Sure, it’s the “early to bed” concept – that definitely helps, but it’s also allowing myself to settle into the role I have been called to as a woman (wife, mother, and/or friend). I don’t hide that it’s hard; I do want to highlight the beauty that comes from rest and seeking the LORD.

A friend shared a really practical way to stay connected to the Lord. In order to pray without ceasing, simply add “God” before every thought.

6 powerful & effective prayers:

• God, help me to be calm. I need your tenderness.

• Emmanuel, give me the right words to share in the moment of correction. I need your wisdom.

• God, please correct me. I am weak without Your strength. Give me wisdom to walk in a manner that is pleasing to You.

• LORD of Heaven and Earth, my worried thoughts feel all-consuming. I need your peace. Guard my mind toward thoughts that honor who You are.

• God, give me a boost of energy. Help me to rest in Your abilities. Show me where to slow down and which areas need refining.

• Father God, help me to find a little pocket of time to be creative today. You delight in our creativity. And since I’m made in your image, help me to live more like You.

If you’re a mother, it can be so very hard because the role asks us to be fully selfless women. It also requires humility. (Yikes, that is hard to do at times.) When my children ask me over and over for help, it’s because they’re young and need my tender care, guidance, and wisdom.

However, as women in general, I think we can all use some gentle reminders to stay the course and slow down.

When my children ask for a few minutes alone, “just to chat” without siblings around, helps me to see their vulnerable hearts and say yes.

Our children know they can come to us with any requests they have, and so they ask boldly, fully trusting we will provide for them.

The same can be true of other relationships. Our spouse, friends, or other family members often need our care and wisdom.

So the “secret” to staying calm is remaining close to the vine (John 15:1–17) and knowing how to rest.

Sadly, I am not always calm. I am not always patient or gentle with my behavior. I’ve been caught stomping my feet in front of my children, or pounding the table with my fist. The moments when I am able to stop myself from overreacting are mighty wins for me. They are small proofs that I am on the right path, seeking Living Water for nourishment, and remaining close to the vine. It’s proof of my awareness that it’s not my own strength that gets me through, but His.

In the meantime, the Lord knows our hearts, and so that’s what I focus on. And with much rejoicing, we know He can do mighty things for us.

Draw near, friends!

James 4:8 is a great meditative verse to pray over your household.

xx, Maggie