I’m expecting baby #5, here’s how to pray for our family

I quietly shared an announcement of baby #5 in this blog post. We’ve since received some hard news regarding our baby and we want to share what we know with you.

2022 –

NOVEMBER:

Thanksgiving Day arrived, and for an entire week, we had been holding close the gift of new life inside my womb. A few months prior, when one monthly cycle ended without a positive pregnancy test, I felt a spark of sadness. In the second month, my sadness came with a quivering heart. A few days before I was able to take a test for the third month, worship music was playing in our home and I could hardly sing along without my voice breaking with joy. Maxwell looked at me with wonder and I simply said, “Can you even imagine being in the presence of Christ?” My heart was already growing. 

When it came time to test for the third month, I sprang out of bed and would you believe it – it was POSITIVE. It was so joyful, the beginning of something new for our family. Zack and I held our news close and enjoyed winking at each other very exaggeratedly, though none of our kids really knew why (or noticed). 

Five babies. There has always been a lot of joy as we increase in wonder and anticipation over what’s to come with each new baby.

DECEMBER:

It didn’t take long for the familiar first-trimester symptoms to settle in. I ate saltine crackers for weeks and weeks and tried my best to entice the kids to cook dinner. (Because, you know, the smells.) It usually didn’t work, but at least I tried ;)

2023 –

JANUARY: 

The second week of January burst forth with my first OB appointment. I was 11 weeks pregnant with baby #5, and our first ultrasound showed a strong heartbeat along with signs of a cyst on the baby’s spine. We were referred to a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist in another town and set an appointment for later that month. While at that appointment, nothing out of the ordinary was seen, though our baby was moving around so much that the ultrasound tech couldn’t get a good look. 

“Can you come back later next week,” they asked. Zack and I looked at each other and shrugged. “Of course,” I said.

FEBRUARY:

There are three things I remember most about this day. The weather was awfully blustery and cold, I was traveling alone for my follow-up appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine, and the familiarity of family remains unmatched.

I had settled myself on the hospital bed for a third ultrasound. While there were a couple of silly things that happened that helped to pull my mind from dark places, I distinctly remember the MFM specialist finishing her time with the ultrasound and then placing her hand on my leg.

“Let’s go to another room where we can talk more comfortably,” she said quietly.

She grabbed a box of tissues, and I thought, “Yes, bring the whole box; I am a crier.”

Once she started talking, it took me a very long time to catch my breath. My mind was spiraling. It was all so unexpected. The room felt so small, and my pain felt way too big. And while I asked many questions, no matter which ones I asked I couldn’t succeed at calming my mind. The doctor didn’t have a lot of information about our baby (mostly because our baby was/is young gestationally), though she had plenty of information to share about the condition and the next steps to consider. 

She desired for us to meet at her office downstate for a more thorough exam. I tenderly agreed. 

My phone call to Zack after my appointment was reflective of our 15 years of marriage, which we’ll celebrate in June. He prayerfully led me through what I had just experienced, and we were in agreement we’d tell our children right away.

After my drive home, with the still-blustery weather, I opened the side door attached to our garage and walked in. I could hear my children’s voices near Zack’s and immediately started crying again.

“The queen is home,” the kids cheered together. Even Bauer howled over my arrival. 

“How do we tell the kids our hard news,” I thought to myself. Well, we found a way, and the six of us were huddled on the couch together for a long time. I love their gentleness, awareness of emotion, knowledge of God, and kindness toward me.  I wished for better circumstances, but when your husband and young children know how to minister to you — how can a mother not rejoice amidst her sorrows?

Many friends have asked how I’m doing or how they can pray, and for a few days I shared a little while saying, “This doesn’t feel like my life.”

But, this is my life, and it is no surprise to my Father. And so we want to share our story with you. 

It is now two weeks later and my response to friends is, “I’m moving forward with a lot of faith and a little bit of fear, though I have to really work at controlling my fear.” On my own, this feels impossible to process. Because of Christ, I’m fully leaning on Him. He is my firm foundation.

What I know to be true today was true yesterday and stands true for tomorrow: the Lord God has me and my baby covered under His wings.

The floor in that small doctor’s office seemed like it was going to drop out on me, but I know my life is not built on breakable materials. God rescued me from living in fear from the day I called Him, “Savior.”

Here’s what we know:

• The doctor is seeing signs of spina bifida on our baby. They are still determining where the exposure is on his precious body, but they are hopeful it can be helped through surgery before I deliver him.
• Because of additional testing through bloodwork, we know our baby is a BOY! We have always found out our child’s gender at birth, but this feels like the right time to know so we can more personally pray for our child. A boy! We are elated :)
• Many upcoming MFM appointments await us in Ann Arbor, MI.
• We are hopeful for a successful surgery on our baby boy at 24 weeks gestation (early April). This, of course, has risk, however the success rate for the baby’s health (especially outside my womb upon delivery) is high and important. We are praying through all of this. I have moments where I’m very afraid and my stomach is in knots. Please pray against fear. 
• If surgery is an option, my recovery requires a lot of rest as I need to remain in Ann Arbor through delivery (early April to late July).

Here’s how you can join us in prayer:

• Pray for miraculous healing in my womb which would cancel the need for in-utero surgery. Pray for complete healing on our baby’s body!
• Pray for our detailed 4-hour appointment on Monday, February 20th.
• Pray for peace as I carry our baby boy. Pray for my mind to remain fixed on Christ and not centered on fear.
• Pray for the doctors, surgeons, and genetic counselors to safely and accurately do their jobs well.
• Pray against any paralysis in our baby boy! 
• Pray for my husband to be encouraged and strengthened. 
• Pray for our four young children to feel seen and loved, and not be fearful of the future.
• Pray for Zack and me to have the strength to not look too far ahead — which causes us to worry.
• Above all, we pray for Christ to be glorified through our story. 

Isaiah 48:17, 

“This is what the Lord says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”

Thank you, friends and family. We will update here as we know more. 

xoxo, Maggie