As I type this out I’m sitting underneath a tall tree. This tree has fresh green leaves extending from the branch, reaching up towards the sky… the seemingly endless blue sky. I love sitting here to write, it’s like a little escape from the chaos of motherhood that exists just on the other side of our front door ;) During naptime I can sometimes sneak away to our porch, and so today I do. I soak up the beauty of this tall tree and think of the other moments of beauty that often sneak by because they are petite. Petite like the tiny pink buds growing off the fresh green leaves from the tree I’m sitting under, similar to this tree (below) we see on our daily walks through the neighborhood…
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Last week I finally pushed through a huge creative roadblock, one I’ve been stuck behind for months. No matter how often I tried to push through it I couldn’t; I tried over and over and over again. I felt frustrated, unsure how to get past this uncreative period, but possibly the biggest difficulty for me was feeling like I didn’t know who I was anymore. It felt so unlike me to be stuck for this long. This roadblock was the longest I’d ever experienced, and while I was trying to welcome the new woman I had become after giving birth, I was having a hard time accepting this uncreative version of me. I finally cried out to God (for real, there were tears) and a few hours later I heard Him answer me. I then sat down to sew and finally felt a sense of peace wash over me. It’s like God wanted me to go back to the basics: don’t rush it, enjoy the journey, and don’t be afraid to seek help when you’re unsure. The roadblock had moved and look what was created…
…my very first cross-body bag. (The fabric is from The Fabric Store in Los Angeles.) And do you want to know what I love the most about this story, more than the bag itself? The smile that’s on my face. You know what I’m talking about here, right?
When you finally climb out from the depths of a creative rut you emerge with glory smeared on your face. Glory be to God.
(Also noteworthy: Maxwell is missing a shoe and the peach tunic I’m wearing is really a sleep-shirt. From Target. You’re welcome.)
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In my attempt to climb out of my creative rut I was committed to seeking beauty anywhere I could, and suddenly I found myself noticing the beauty that exists in the shadows. Even in the brightest of daylight there are shadows to be found. But, what I also found myself noticing is the detail of the beauty in those shadows.
This journey through motherhood has lead me down some difficult paths (mentioned above). I’ve spent months trying to figure out the new me, which has been hard because at first I didn’t think anything about me had changed. Soon enough, though, I realized everything changes once you give birth — even if you can’t physically see it. Maggie, remember the detail of the beauty in those shadows.
So in the shadow below you can see I’m wearing my baby. For 10 months I carried Maxwell in my belly, and now at 10 months old I’m still carrying him around. Love.
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Two of my favorite pastimes: nail polish and cookie baking. I’ve always been a nail polish girl, but this baking thing is a new one for me.
During the quiet moments of the day, in between stirring the batter and waiting for the timer to ring, my mind is silenced. I think I heard angels singing, it was so quiet.
I said to myself:
Just stop and pull out your baking supplies. Get the flour down and the chocolate chips. Preheat the oven and buckle the little one in his highchair. Rest your mind and allow the repetitiveness of baking clear out the cobwebs.
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This heart friend. She flew to Los Angeles last week for business and we were able to sneak away for a few hours to catch up on life. And it was wonderful :)
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Something else I’ve been able to capture?
Southern California sunsets…
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And then there are those few random photos that are inspiring to me just by themselves.
Second day blonde curls revived by a spray bottle of water (for real)…
Purchasing new fabric for my brand new shop (squeeeeal, it’s really happening!)…
Bible reading in the morning while Max plays at my feet…
And one of the new double ruffle headbands inside the Gussy shop…
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I’m so so so looking forward to sharing with you my new venture. If you’d like, you can follow along on Instagram or Facebook for sneak peeks of our progress :) Well, in a nutshell that’s been my life these last couple of weeks.
Little lessons of inspiring moments. Yes, please.
Praising God for the breakthrough! He is so good. :) PS…I want your bag!!! :) Blessings Maggie
I totally relate to the struggle to find the new “me” that comes with motherhood. My baby boy is 15 months and I still feel like I have no idea who this new me is. Moving, not working anymore and a new church have all compunded things. Its a crazy, wonderful, challenging ride, this motherhood thing!
Aren’t second day curls the best??!? I’m a fellow curly girl (who usually straightens), but honestly when I can make the style last as long as possible, I’m a happy lady! Thank you so much for sharing your creative struggle and breakthrough. I know many of us can relate to the difficulty in trying to figure out direction, among other things. SO happy you’ve found your way and are full of inspiration again! :)