I’m writing to you today with the smell of sunshine floating through our home. I can smell it on Maxwell when I sit as his side and help him with a project. It dusted itself on Marigold’s head, and I smelled as I nursed her before her afternoon nap. And it tucked itself into bed with Natalie as she sucked her thumb and snuggled her two babies. Spring, you are welcome here.
The smell of sunshine is the magic potion of our day.
The winter season is coming to an end, with each new day giving us more daylight. I can hear the birds chattering away as I make our morning coffee, and the kids are happy to play outside for longer than seven minutes. Things feel different and better and I feel like shouting, Hooray!, way more often ;)
I’m learning once again the importance of keeping my hands busy with projects. On Monday I sewed for hours and spent time refining the design of a new Gussy Sews product. On Tuesday I caught up on laundry and put away the eight dozen tiny things that somehow accumulate around our home? (It’s like they multiply themselves overnight.)
And then there’s today. A whole new bundle of projects happened, and another layer of winter fog was peeled back. All before the clock struck Noon, we had gone on a long neighborhood walk. I made dinner and put it in the fridge. We read books on the couch and the kids played outside on their bikes. I wore Goldie on my back as we collected two bushels of backyard sticks (!) and then I made my crew lunch. My body feels tired, my legs sore from the yardwork, and my hands feel dry from all the dirt they touched.
Sometimes, we just need to try.
Try to do the things that feel hard. Three toddlers, one infant, and a dog outside = a really fun morning of yard work!
Try a new recipe that is sure to fill up the kids never-full tummies. This recipe is already prepped for tonight!
Make a plan for how to reset “the crazy”. Hint: it has little to do with correcting the kids, and everything to do with Zack and I spending better time together / having more fun as a family.
Try to get through your to-do list. Just start, and simplify the process as you go!
Stop wishing for an always-clean kitchen and welcome the mess of a few constant dishes. It’s a privilege to be able to serve a meal!
Stop wondering when you’ll stop taking medicine for post-partum depression. I’m so GRATEFUL to have found a solution that’s helping me feel like the best Maggie.
Take notice of the things we avoid doing. Perhaps there’s a greater reason: it’s not the right time / it’s not a good fit / it’s not really how I should be spending my time. Maybe we should listen more to our excuses?
Other things that I never regret doing: asking a friend to get together, going to bed early, praying with Zack, sitting down with my kids as they play, buying new fabric, writing a “thank you” note.
Staying busy (in a healthy way) with projects keeps my mind sharp. I feel like my most creative self when I’m making a mess in the kitchen, the kids room, the basement with a new project. It feels amazing to finish something that visually takes up a lot of space. Washing dishes. Putting away out-of-season clothes. Reorganizing a closet. Powering through piles of paperwork. Picking up sticks and a fleet of bicycles, washing away dirt from our hands.
In all of my years, I have never regretted trying, because trying helps me learn, experience, and fly.
You are awesome. Love your realness, vulnerability, and honesty. You are a great mama.
Grateful for your encouraging words! xx
Where did you get that clock?
It’s from a produce / floral / gift shop in Lansing, MI called Horrocks. It’s a favorite, it “made the cut” when we sold nearly everything and moved to Los Angeles. xx
I always love reading what you share. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing a glimpse into your life. I suffered with PPD too, but I was never brave enough to get help. I wish I would have!
If you still need help, please gift yourself and seek after it. You’re brave to share about PPD, you know. Depression is a hard kick in the shins, too often we struggle to define our pain. Thank you for commenting, Stacey.
Thanks, Maggie. My youngest is the same age as Maxwell. It took me a couple years. Part of what added to it was finding out that she was deaf. Once I was able to process all of that, and trust God with whatever he had for her life, I was slowly able to climb out of the pit. Most of the time now, I’m fine. Just a few bad days here and there.
I relate deeply to your thoughts of when you will be able to stop taking meds for your postpartum depression. I have found myself wondering the same thing over the last few months, especially as my son neared and just had his first birthday.
At my annual exam recently as I was sharing my feelings, my doctor made me feel better by saying she recommends I stay on it for now. It lifted the worrying about whether I should be trying to wean off the meds or not.
You are right; it’s simply a gift to have found something that can help us feel like the best version of ourselves again. For us and for our families.
For now, that is enough.
This is a lovely post, Maggie. A breath of fresh air, and so encouraging.
I noticed the balance bike – I’m assuming it’s Maxwell’s? Do you have any tips for getting a kiddo started on one? My almost 3.5yo would have nothing to do with it last summer, and I’m hoping it’s not too late to convince him to give it a try!
OH man, I don’t have any advice. He plays with it 50/50, I don’t recommend it for long bike rides, but for playing in the yard or driveway, he sure seems to have fun. Continue to encourage your son? I’m sure you’re doing a great job of this already. ♥