Friends, let’s gather in my living room and chat. I have plenty of room for you, and we have so much to catch up on :) I’m in a season where the words I have to share are more like slow drops in a large bucket. A thought comes to mind but it’s quickly forgotten as I’m enveloped into play time on the living room floor. Naptime begins, the babes are tucked into their beds with their special hospital blankies, and just as I’m convinced I don’t need a nap, I fall asleep and am quickly snoring. I know for a fact God has prepared me for this time in my life. The years where I was fiercely working on “outside jobs”, those were most certainly so I could step back and fiercely work on “inside jobs”.
Right now I’m an “inside job” gal. Yes, I have slivers of creative time and Maggie time and learning time and girlfriend time, but a big part of my time is spent teaching my kids, encouraging my husband, and learning about me.
I’m curious about opportunities to share all that I’ve experienced and learned pre-mamahood alongside my “inside job” schedule. I know there are ways, and I’m grateful for the courage to create the outline. It is exciting and encouraging, especially when the days feel long and repetitive.
Sometimes it feels easier not to write & publish anything at all. Like I mentioned, the words I have to share are more like slow drops in a large bucket. They randomly appear, are often unnoticed, and fade fast. I could feel discouraged, but I’m holding on to hope that it’s for a very specific reason. I know I need to be writing, if only to share the few drops I do have. Those are important drops. I certainly believe your drops are important, so it’s good for me to believe my drops are important.
In July I turned 30, and truly I feel different. I feel more content in attending larger social gatherings, knowing it’s OK to focus on cultivating a small group of relationships. I feel confident to eat a meal by myself. I recognize using baby lotion as a facial moisture is a bad choice (sadly, a real bad habit of mine). I know the importance of knowing when to ask for help, which for me in this season of life is being involved in multiple groups so I have enough things going on to keep myself socially engaged. Not to keep myself busy, but to keep my Maggie cup full. And, perhaps most importantly to our family, I feel at peace knowing the “inside job” I’m doing is enough. It is good. (A close second is getting enough rest, I’m like a great grandma these days with my daily naps, but hey — who cares! ;))
So while my words here have been infrequent and light, know that it’s not because I’m uninterested in this community, it’s because I, for once in my life, am really struggling with the words to share. There was a time in my life when I had all of the words. Do you remember, back when this all began, how my blog was titled “Gussy Has a Lot to Say {and Sew}”? I remember that too, and right now that’s making me smile. That time feels like it was decades ago, and I often ache for how easy the drops fell.
But then I remember: hope. I mean, there was a day when I wasn’t sure we would ever find work again, but we found it in Minneapolis. There was a day when we thought we may never have a baby, and the Lord has answered that prayer threefold. So I look ahead with hope in mind. I have so much hope for the words published here to come, and for now I patiently wait.
PS. Do you have five extra minutes? Read this post, To the tired mama…
PPS. This song is amazinggg!
Hi Maggie!
So much of this resonates with me!! As I have mentioned before, you and I are in different seasons of life, but so much of what you are going through and write and share makes me raise my hand and say “me too” I started a blog and 2012 because writing helped me and I wanted to connect with people other than in my everyday life. I didn’t have a special or specific purpose to my blog so in time I felt it fell flat and what was the use! And of course instagram kinda takes the place of blogging but you cannot write and share as much on IG as you can in a blog post. I have been struggling with writing too – often time on my drive to work (over an hour) I feel like I have these great composed posts and then when I actually go to write or type them – nothing…..
So I am hoping right along with you! I too believe I have experiences I can share after all that life has thrown my way! Thanks for sharing your heart today and always!!
xoxo
Tiffany! I’m so glad you shared this with us :) Do you have an audio recording program on your phone? I had a thought… what if on your commute you recorded some of the ideas you have? Then later you can type out what you heard yourself say, it may be a fun way to jump start a blog post? ♥
Sure do love you!!!!
This is such an honestly beautiful post. I have been reading your blog for a while, and I want you to know what an inspiration you are to me as a momma and Jesus follower and a person. You’re lovely and so is your writing. Thank you for sharing all that you do.
You’re bucket is overflowing with current blessings that may fill your bucket later :)
I’ve never really been a talker so having a small blig, even though art is the focus, is a struggle for me. I never know what to say. Real artists easily describe their inspiration and reasoning, I don’t have that. I draw things because I find them pretty. It’s that simple and sounds airheaded. I’ve been working on accepting that, that is the way God made me though and that in and of itself should be good enough.
your first sentence — dead on, thank you for the reminder :)
Sometimes it’s not that your bucket is empty or full, it
Oops….it’s that your bucket is refillable. I vividly recall my days full of teaching babies and loving on them and napping with them, times I won’t ever forget. My 3 daughters are all older than you and somehow it seems like yesterday. I have identical girls and their younger sister by 2.5 years. Yes, my hands were full too. Time disappeared right before my very eyes, so spend that precious time with those babies, you will never regret it. Refill your Maggie bucket when you feel the need. Meet with your friends and associates when time allows and by all means love your hubby. Take a deep breath it’s called life!
I love how you said God was preparing you first with the outside jobs, to fiercely do the inside work. That’s so true and such an encouragement for me tonight.
I am SO GLAD to hear that from you, it is such affirmation for me personally ♥.
Thanks for sharing with us, Maggie! I can relate as it’s tough for me (and most of us humans!) to let go of our notions of how things should be or how they used to be and accept how they are in the present moment. This was a good reminder to embrace and be at peace with the current situation because it’s what we can handle and it feels right. After realizing months ago that I wanted to begin a new life as a creative entrepreneur, I finally began blogging and am in the process of working on other aspects of my business vision bit by bit. Initially I felt guilty for not posting several times a week like I originally planned, but I finally let myself off the hook because I realized this is what works for me now and feels natural. Yes, every drop we add to the bucket matters! :) Congrats on turning 30. So far I’m enjoying my 30’s way more than my 20’s. ;)
Jules
P.S. I’m enjoying your and Elise’s Building A Business book and am looking forward to how it will undoubtedly help shape my business. I read both of your origin stories twice for extra inspiration. :) Thank you both!
I’m reading up on my blog feed, which has been sadly neglected, and I keep coming across older blog posts that I *must* comment on! I know how you feel… when I was a teen, I blogged almost every day. Now it’s hard for me to find the words. I don’t know what to say, or how to say it. However, know that your words have made such an impact on me. (Also, that song!!!! It’s my #1 right now! :-D )
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Yes, yes, and yes! Those drops are being squeezed out for and by your children right now. I find mothering young kids to be very draining – I don’t mean that in a negative way, because I’m conscious that I am giving them my time, energy, and heart; so it’s draining but in a good way. Draining to the right place. There will be a time when they don’t need our precious drops, and then that bucket will fill up faster. Maybe it’s THEIR buckets that are being filled up right now. :)