Over the weekend we loaded ourselves into the Jeep and drove over to Home Depot. We needed just a few basic things, but before we checked out we stopped by the nursery (wink). Is it just me or do you love colorful plants, too? Oh my… they are so fun! I dream of having a planter box outside our front door, so we were looking at our options. And maybe also a few hanging plants inside :) This week I really feel like my bump is sticking out farther than I realize, I’m hitting doorways or chairs and I have laughed at myself nearly a dozen times already over it. This is when pregnancy really starts to be fun. Also, for those of you who can relate, I’m already doing the “grab anything you can to get yourself out of bed with dignity” thing. Snort. Eighteen weeks baby bump, you’re here and I love it! I’m definitely becoming more and more curious if this baby is a girl or boy. I don’t have a hunch, and with my pregnancy with Maxwell I had exactly one baby boy dream and one baby girl dream. The adventurous life we live continues on!
One thing I’d love to know from you: if your babies are close in age (like 18 months or less) what was most helpful for you during those first couple of months settling in as a family? Chat with you in the comments :)
PS. this maternity dress is ridiculously comfortable!
Give yourself so much grace during those first few months. It’s okay to end up spending the first few months without wearing makeup, clean hair, cute clothes, or even remembering to brush your teeth. You are learning to spread your love over two babies now, and it’s a really hard and really good work. Just focus on loving and caring and changing diapers until you get into a sweet new rhythm. It’s going to be awesome!
We have four under 5 (a 5 almost 6 year old, a newly 4 year old, an almost 3 year old and a six month old). Each time was easier, I think. I would say just to give yourselves time to adjust and don’t be hard on yourself. My husband was only ever able to be home with us for a couple days after each one, so I was literally thrown into mommyhood right away by myself. I just made sure to relax every chance I could and we did a lot of TV and movie watching at first, until we figured a schedule out. I was lucky and got the older kids to nap when the baby would nap, so I could have a nap also. Going from one to two kids was definitely more of a challenge than going from two to three then three to four, but it wasn’t bad at all :) It’s so fun having kids close in age because they have a special friend that they can grow up with!
When shopping by yourself, ALWAYS park next to a cart corral, preferably with a cart in it. You can load the kids straight into it so you’re not worried about chasing your toddler while carrying the baby, and you can unload bags and babies easily all at once when you’re done.
Mine are 21 months apart….I don’t know how I would go out without my baby carrier. It is my life saver. Wear my baby and then my toddler is in the stroller or cart. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help and plan freezer meals in advance!
You look so gorgeous, healthy and happy! And that dress looks great on you. Ow, ow! ;) Pregnancy looks great on you.
Our boys are 13 months apart (now 21 months aka a little over a year and half…21 months sounds so silly, I just say he’s 1.5) and 8 months. We encouraged lots of hugs and kisses from big brother and let him come snuggle and get close, there was never any jealousy, he’s always loved the baby! Life in the beginning wasn’t too difficult because our older son had a great routine and we enjoyed spending the day with him when the newborn was napping and enjoyed the baby at night after big brother went to bed. Thankfully, both are good eaters and sleepers! Life is more challenging now with a runner and crawler, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Make sure everything you need for the day (or event…bathtime, mealtime, outing etc) is prepared and in one place, that was the biggest help for me! I go pick out both sets of clothing, grab diapers etc and treat them like twins, just do the change and move on. Now they generally, eat, nap, play and sleep at the same time (the little one still naps more) but it’s made life easier and enjoyable to do things (like changing diapers) one right after the other instead of feeling like you’re running around without a good plan. You will love having two babies close in age, hopefully they’ll be the best of friends!
mine are 22 months apart, and my one rule of thumb is have a babysitter for those days you are in the hospital. It is NOT wise to bring your toddler to spend the night because your babysitter had to go home because the baby came late and her vacation time is up. That honestly got us off to a rough start as big brother instantly loathed baby brother for disrupting his sleep ALL night long. But in general the best thing that helped us with the transition was having mommy and daddy take the time to still have special one on one time with big brother so he never felt left out. He also loved being the diaper fetcher, the burp cloth getter and all those BIG BOY duties we gave him.
Give yourself grace! I felt so guilty between missing time with my first and wanting time to bond with my newborn. Know everything will be ok and just relax. :) you’ll do great!
I loved having freezer meals waiting for me, as well as frozen muffins etc. A “very simple meals” guideline really helped me as well. For us, the change from 2 to 3 was definitely more challenging. I really enjoyed the adapting and stretching i had to do when we went from1-2 … So many things are easier simply because you’ve done it all with your first :)
Another thing I loved was having a large lunchbox type box in a low cupboard where my 2 yr old could get to it on his own while i was feeding. I was able to open it and give snacks while breastfeeding. We also kept a basket of books and special toys & water bottle nearby for him for during feeding time.
You look adorable. My oldest 2 are 16 months apart and I may be completely crazy but I love their age gap. They are so close. My advice is just remember that you will find your grove. Things are so different with the second but once you get a routine down, it gets better. I always tried to include my oldest in everything we were doing. She loved to give her brother a bath and my kitchen a bath at the same time. When I was nursing I would sing with her or read her a book. Even though it took 10 times longer to let her help we never had any issues with jealousy. And my other advice. Get a good stroller. I highly recommend the baby jogger city select. It is the perfect stroller and it grows with your family. I wish I had found it when my second was born.
Flexibility! You are gone rock it, mama :) Oh and make sure to get Max a little toy for the hospital..
My son is 21 months and my daughter is 3.5 months, so I’m still figuring this out myself! We gave my son a lot of daddy time right after my daughter’s birth, which he loved. I cuddle with him or play when the baby is asleep, and flip through books with him while nursing. I agree about always parking next to the cart corral! They both love to go on walks. He does watch more tv than I would prefer, but it really is a big help.
If Maxwell starts to misbehave more after the baby arrives, it might be a sign that he needs more attention. My son started breaking the rules (the same rule) to get time-outs for the hugs and prayers that we would give him afterwards. Once we realized that, we just gave him a little attention instead of time-out, and that has passed!
We still have hard days (like today!), but it is finally getting easier. The first couple months are the hardest, and there will definitely be times when you think you’re going crazy, but you can do it! I remember the pediatrician told me that my son would be used to the new baby and new routine by four months. That sounded like an eternity, but I’m almost there, and it has been so special to see him embrace the role of the caring and loving big brother!
I have two girls, 17 months apart, that are now 7 and 8. They have a *fantastic* relationship and are very close. They always have a best friend on hand. This has been such a blessing that now that we are due with our third (and I know they’re going to be an enormous help), I keep thinking that we’re going to need to have a 4th close in age to this 3rd baby so that they can experience the same kind of relationship.
That said, I’m not going to lie – it was very difficult for me when they were young. Part of that I’m sure was the postpartum depression that I had, which I’ll be combating this time with Young Living oils and placenta encapsulation, but another big part was that my expectations were off-base. I would say come to terms with the fact that you will have two babies for awhile, you will probably always be late (if you make it at all), and you will just be home almost all the time. It’s when you make other plans and have other ideas that this gets extremely frustrating. If you wake up and say, “I’m going to love on these babies today with every chance I get,” and see every spilled glass and blowout and spit up all over the 4th new outfit as a chance to minister to them with a patient, understanding, and loving heart. I was always under the impression that things should be different and should be going differently and we should be able to get out the door when I wanted to, etc. Just wasn’t happening. If I had just surrendered to my job of being home with my babies and being ok with that, I think that would have helped tremendously.
All that said, you will love it. They are such a joy and the love in your heart just multiplies when baby #2 arrives on the scene. Stress that it’s “our” baby, and teach your son to cherish the new child and tell him his job is to care for and protect the baby. That lesson will carry on throughout life.
My kiddies are 13 months apart. The thing that really helped me keep my sanity was having a nap schedule/routine. The kids had a routine and predictability and I knew when I could expect a bit of a break. Seriously. I lived for nap times!
You make me miss my bump! Of course, not enough to have another one yet ;) But yours is ADORABLE and perfect. Miss you friend.
I miss you already!!!!!!! XO praying for your family, what an adventure God has you on!