Monday was a hard, hard day for me as a mama. I think we played too hard over the weekend because our house was filled with grumps — from all of us. Minus Zack of course, he was able to escape ;) No one napped well on Monday; everyone felt antsy. We took three walks, and Bauer came on two of them! We played outside. Multiple times. We sat outside in the California sun. We sang songs, read books, and I prayed again + again for the blanket of a nap to drape over us. I held Max tightly as I walked the floors; back and forth we walked. Nothing seemed to work, and nearly all day I felt frustrated. Our rhythm was off and I felt defeated. Being a mama is a gift. It’s the best gift I’ve even been given, so I try not to dwell on our hard days.
But, Monday was hard. And my goodness, when hard days show up on our stoop — some time in the night when we’re all sound asleep, they are HARD to handle the next day. I was so thankful Monday night when Zack walked through the front door. Even Bauer was anticipating his arrival ;)
Instead of trying to work throughout the day, like I’m sometimes able to, I decided to take it easy on myself: no working until nighttime. And even then, no working unless I felt rested and able.
That’s kinda been my thing lately, especially because nothing of quality comes out of me when I’m not feeling rested. I’m learning to work fast when sparks of creativity hit and to give myself more grace when they don’t. I’m in no rush to work, especially if the work I’m going to output is going to be poor. But being able to go with the flow, to problem solve when Max needs something from me — these things are critical to enjoying life and my new role as a mama.
So, when those hard days show up on our stoop I’m able to welcome them in.
Something else I’ve learned?
Hard days never stay for too long, but when they come into my home I know to slow down so they can pass.
We had a day just like this and my husband was away for a work trip :/ luckily my momma is close by and was able to come save me! We have a 3 1/2 month old daughter so I’m very familiar with these days where we struggle. It certainly is a balancing act we must perform each day. You’re doing a great job!
@Ashley, that’s so hard! Keep taking those long breaths and yes, have your mom come over :)
This mommy appreciates your openness and honesty. Some bloggers’ sites are like a highlight reel for the winning team, never a mistake, never a stumble, always putting their best foot forward. And while I know that nobody’s life is like that, it can be deflating for someone “in the trenches” to constantly only be shown the sunshine, roses, and rainbows of other peoples lives. All that to say – thank you for the real-ness of this post. I think you are really going to connect with a ton of moms today by sharing your struggle!! No one wants to see another person struggle, but it’s comforting to know that you aren’t alone. xoxo
@Amanda, I think I’d be even more overwhelmed if I wasn’t able to be real and honest, especially with this online community. There’s definitely a lot of support found here :) thank you so much for contributing! xx
i want to thank you for this post. it gives me great inspiration and hope for the hard days i know are going to come when i become a first-time mommy in just a few short weeks.
i’m glad you made it through :) ps you look absolutely adorable in that post just before this one (that old navy striped dress and sandals). just thought you should know!
@mara, one of the best tips we’ve heard and been able to apply is this: the more calm you are the more calm your baby will be. You may not feel this at first, but it’s true. Hold your baby tightly and with confidence, and she’ll calm down. Babies can totally sense what you’re feeling and they’ll mimic that, too. XO
You are so wise sweet friend. I too often find myself needing such breaks or to be easier on myself. So often the world says go, go, go! Be perfect! Do it all! But we just can’t. Instead we can be happy by actually slowing down. Praying for you during this beautiful new season. xo
@Ashley Urke | Domestic Fashionista, I refuse to get sucked into that! Talk about pressure! So glad we can step back and see that as crazy talk, together. ♥
My babies are all grown up now. But I am familiar with hard days and for some reason they often show up on Mondays. I call it “re-entry syndrome”. Give yourself a lot of grace. Blessings on your day today.
love the last line about slowing down when you have hard days. that’s so good and so important.
Being a mommy is the most challenging and AMAZING job that a woman will ever have! That said, there are days that you are out of sync and that is okay, think of it as a growing period and a time for reflection on what is important!!! Much love to you and your family!
@Amanda, thank you, Amanda :)
Ah I remember those days and I have not forgotten them. I want the hard days to be a memory and of help to young moms. I was a sahm until my youngest went to 1st grade. Those days were hard. But I surrounded myself with girlfriends. We exchanged stories. We encouraged each other to carry on. We read parenting books. We had girls night 2x a month. It helped me to survive. And it still carries in but our kids are Tweens and teens and the issues are not as small as they use to be.
The days are long but the years are short.
@Katy, I remind myself of that quote daily. It’s so true and a good “resetter” for those hard days :) Also? What a gift you and your girlfriends give each other!!!
I totally feel ya. The hard days as a mom are harder than any hard day in college, any all nighter, any hard day at work. They tear at your heart, especially when the little one is unhappy and it seems like there is nothing you can do. Top that with impending deadlines for us work at home mommas and it can all be completely overwhelming. Thank you for sharing your story, and faith. Sometimes I forget to pray in those hard times and instead just count the moments until my husband gets home. So thank you…now to attend to my screaming babe and sing to her while walking the halls.
You. Are. Lovely. :) Through and through.
God bless you and yours.
@Heather D, thank you Heather, I have a strong feeling you are lovely, too :)
I feel like I need to preface this with I’m not a mom, but I love (LOVE!) how you say at the end to slow down through the hard days, so they’ll pass. I think that is so true, but sometimes I fight so hard for the exact opposite – I spin my wheels to just hurry the hard day along. But that never works, right? It kind of makes it worse. It’s only when we slow down and accept grace in the moment that the hard seems to fade and our rhythms are restored.
Thanks for the beautifully said reminder!
Hugs to you beauty! We’ve had so many of these days this summer…sometimes Miss S is awake for 15 hours straight and I’m beyond exhausted and feeling so lousy from medication. R has been working 18 hour days the majority of this summer and oh boy, it has been challenging. Keep your chin up and yes…I love that you go with the flow and are easy on yourself. You deserve the grace and kindness, you are a remarkable momma!!!
xoxo.
Maggie I totally understand. We moved to a new state this past weekend, and I am working from home again. And am home with my kids. I am trying to find my groove in between the diaper changes and stress from the transition. In fact right now I should be working, but instead I am taking advantage of my girls’ nap time & am sitting in bed :)
Thank you for this and for the reminder at the end of your post. It’s so hard to get rid of negative thoughts sometimes and it’s always nice to remember to slow down. I was in a funk this morning, feeling like I couldn’t do anything right with my almost 3 year old and 7 month old girls. I strapped them into the stroller and went for a walk. They smiled, laughed and made faces at eachother the whole way. Of course, I had to smile, too. It’s hard being a mama. Thank you for sharing and helping all of us. Here’s to a better day for us all.
Needed this today. I actually have a similar entry in my drafts that I started this morning and couldn’t finish due to a 4-month-old waking early from a nap (if you’d even call it that).
Thank you for sharing. True words. I’ve learned when those days come to just go with the flow tomorrows a new day.
I know that feeling of hard days! As a teacher, I am currently enjoying my summer, which means spending every day with my cutie. It was an adjustment, for me and her, but once we found our rhythm, there was no stopping us! For the most part, she and I are always in sync, but we do still have those days. When one of those hits us, I take a breath and walk wawy from her for a few (safe of course in her crib) & come back after a little head clearing. Usually that works. And when all else fails, I look at my palms, which are tattooed with the words {I GOT PMA}.
I love your attitude toward harder days and, indeed, those hard days will happen with a little one. Hannah’s had some herself and I along with her, especially when my own mood has hit rock bottom. I just count my blessings that I had such an easy going baby who slept great and had no colic, so our bad days were few and far between. I’m so glad you’re little Max is such a good baby as well. A hard day is just a day!
Oh my goodness – I so totally relate. Hugs and lots and lots of love. You are a treasure!
Just dropping by to say I can totally relate. The first 14 months of our now 3 years old life, my husband worked night shift, and we hardly ever got to see him. I am a nanny, and take my son to work with me, so I was a round the clock full time working mother.
Thankfully, my husband is now on day shift, so we enjoy time together often, but we still have hard days. Today was one of them, and I enjoyed reading this post first thing this morning after having to stay at work until 1:30am last night, and waking up with our son bright and early this morning.
You are amazing. Keep being you :)
Last week was a hard week! I’m thankful for a God who is faithful. I’m praying that He helps me remove the word “overwhelmed” from my vocabulary. I’m thankful for a husband who comes home from his work that provides for us financially to help with dinner, potty training, puppy training, what-have-you.
Hugs sweetie! Hard days on momma when we don’t have family around is awful. Our closest family is a 15-hour drive away and it breaks my heart that my son so wants to be near family as much as I do.
I love your positive attitude! Prayers and hugs for you and your lil cutie!