Months ago, it crept in.
I didn’t quite see it coming.
Everything around me was bustling + growing. It was noisy, the good kind of noisy. We had just learned of an exciting new change and that sort of covered up everything else that was happening around us.
Suddenly we were busy planning a cross-country move while floating on our new arrival in March.
We didn’t see change creep in for all that it really was.
And now that the confetti of change has settled a little bit, I see it more clearly.
A new home.
A new zip code.
A new state even, with new drivers licenses, license plates, personalities + speeds + weather patterns.
Apparently the first day we got here there was a small {to our moms who are reading: teeny tiny miniscule} earthquake? Yeah. We were so tired from life we slept right through it.
The confetti of change.
Change is still creeping in and it has me staring at boxes + blankets + other remnants of a life dusted with confetti. We’ve been here for, oh, three weeks now — and still everything smells fresh like change.
It’s a bit unfamiliar. Only time will make it the opposite.
And even more so, travel plans have changed, allowing me to be at home an extra weekend when I would have been traveling cross-country. The confetti of change, even though it’s hard I know it’s for the glory of goodness to be revealed later. I’ll see y’all here, though.
In the middle of all of this change, change that started months ago when we weren’t looking, when I’m standing under the confetti of {life} change and am watching it fall, I also see myself standing on the outside a bit. Watching it trickle down, not entirely sure how it will fall into place.
Or what it will look like.
Or how different this confetti change will feel; hoping it starts to come back together.
Thinking:
Where do I fit in with this change?
Where is our new home church?
Where will I find a new group of friends? Where do they live? What are their schedules like? Will they have time to add me in?
This confetti that’s falling around me? It’s beautiful; planned by God; landing perfectly around me. I know this as Truth.
But I’m also holding my breath a little bit, wondering about the community that comes with change and praying really hard I see my new place within it.
[photo source.]
Because you are who you are, everything will be ok and more then that it will be great:)) oxxo
“This confetti that’s falling around me? It’s beautiful; planned by God; landing perfectly around me. I know this as Truth” I really loved this post and particularly this line. Change is a good thing. Exciting. And scary. Like you, we’ve had a lot of changes too, especially with our pregnancy. However, early in the summer we found out my husband has congestive heart failure (a healthy 40 year old who worked out 5 days a week, never smokes or drinks, etc) due to a virus from the common cold attacking his heart when his immune system was down. And EKG showed us that he was having ‘silent heart attacks’Really scary, but a couple of blood pressure meds and a daily diuretic to keep the fluid leaking off of his heart, we felt okay, like we’d go back for his echocardiogram in 3 months and see improvement. Well, we didn’t make it that far. A month ago things got worse. Long story short, he spent last week in the hospital following more testing and an agiogram.(They even said the words HEART TRANSPLANT if the new 8 meds he takes twice a day don’t help his heart improve function) He’s been really, really sick since. It’s so difficult to watch him be vulnerable (seeing him cry breaks me down, I’m tellin ya) and sick and struggling to breath with all the extra pressure on his pulmonary artery…and did I mention I’m pregnant? Yep, this little son of our is due to make his debut in just 39 days. THIRTY NINE. This “confetti of change” that’s falling in my life is falling with my tears and sometimes his tears. It’s scary to trust God sometimes…to trust that He knows what He’s doing when your husband’s life is on the line. But I have to, I have to trust that when He changes things that feel safe and good I am fine, I am cool with it, but when those changes come that just wreck what was going so well, I have to trust then too. I believe that God doesn’t want me to do life without my husband, that God doesnt’ want this little boy to grow up without his daddy. I’m learning through all of this that whatever God puts in my path, I must turn to him and through everything, I must praise Him. Be well and embrace health and your husband. ox
@Cindy, I am so sad for u and what u r going they with your husbands health. So scary. Please know I’m lifting u and him in prayer right now. May u b blessed in the days to come.
@Cindy, @Cindy I am praying for you.
change can be so scary at times, and other times so exciting. it looks like you’re adjusting to it well. i suggest finding a home church being the first thing you do besides unpacking. finding a home church will help you guys find community and support during this crazy time of change. it’ll help keep you sane and focused on what God’s called you to do, and the peace he’s given you. blessings to you guys as you navigate this change and all the exciting things that will come.
I have long hoped for changed but it’s started to happen and it is as you say. Funnily enough a couple of months ago someone praying for me said that as I worshipped God He would pour out so much that was good on me like ‘confetti’! I find things so full on and exhausting yet I know I need to stay very focused on the Lord. Practically, how are you managing/ attempting to do that? X
This was so encouraging to read. I know that I am going to start feeling this very soon as we’re about to be in our own place instead of staying with friends. God is so good though. It has been very encouraging and comforting to watch you process your thoughts through your blog as you’re going through a move too. Praying for you dear sister! <3
Alesha <3
I’ve been thinking about you a lot, remembering when I moved to L.A. and the next year had my first baby. I was 24. I think that this is all SO MUCH. It’s all good but even a ton of good can feel so overwhelming. And you’re so right that it takes a while to figure out your identity in this new place and new season of life. Be gentle with yourself, don’t feel “behind” or in a rush, just let God smooth out all the wrinkles for you. Love you. xoxo
Oh, yes that confetti….that changing of seasons {of life}. Praying for comfort and encouragement for you that you will soon find your new church home and that God would send some great sister friends your way, just at the moments you are needing it….that you will be able to to find and have fellowship in the community around you. :)
Moving to california had to of been a HUGE change. Ive been born and raised here, know no different, and can not imagine. Lets hang out soon. Ill play tour guide (even though it looks like you are getting by just FINE) :)
I can completely relate to all this. We just finished a move to another state this weekend and I have spent the last week having NO IDEA how to feel. I even had a hard time seeing and visiting friends before we left, some I just avoided all together for seemingly no reason. There are a lot of things up in the air right now and it’s so cool and scary all at the same time. I will be praying with you for all those questions because they are definitely my own right now too!
Maggie,
I trust that it is going to be a beautiful season for you, Zach, and the little one. God has you in the palm of his hand, and I pray blessings on you in this transition! Grace, grace, and more grace to you all!
Ann
When we made the move to Cali a week after getting married, I was so scared and nervous… But God totally provided! We found an amazing home church in San Diego, and made life long friends that became our family! I know you’ll find exact what you need, because he always provides! Praying for you as you get comfy in your new home and new city! :)
You’ll find what you’re looking for…it just might be packaged differently! I don’t see my BEST friends as often as I’d like just because of traffic or the busyness that is CA. With that said, this IS paradise and I wouldn’t live anywhere else!
Looking forward to seeing you soon and hearing in person how the confetti is landing.
XOXO!
It’s so encouraging to read your post as my husband and I are preparing to potentially move to CA this fall/winter for a job. We won’t be too far from you, you’re not alone! I’m excited for the fabric stores in LA ; )
Gussy, I am praying for you.
It is going to be wonderful! Praying for the perfect church for you guys and believe the group of friends will follow! You’ve got this!
No problem! :)
Thanks to you both for covering him in prayer. It really means so much.
Maggie, That is absolutely beautiful!!!!!!!!!! Love you Mom
Wow. Love these word pictures. I’ll be drawing on them as my confetti falls in Colorado.