our sunday morning routine may not look the way you think our sunday morning routine looks. and… our sunday morning routine doesn’t look the way we thought it would, either. here’s what i mean: zack and i both grew up going to church every week. we were involved with our church’s youth groups and our families volunteered on sunday mornings and at after-church activities — and we loved being a part of the community church brings. but for some reason that hasn’t happened for us yet. i know there’s a big part of us now that wishes we were a part of a church here in minneapolis, after all there are TONS of churches here and we’ve been to probably a dozen or so. but, that hasn’t happened for us just yet.
most of the time our mornings are spent at home together as a family. we cherish this time together and use the quietness, slowness of our sunday mornings to just be a family. sometimes we’re on our computers, sometimes we read, we always have hot coffee nearby, but we are always together, quietly, as a family. instead of focusing on how we’re not at church, which is something i struggled with for about a year {oh the guilt! oh, the fact that i have had guilt over this in the first place…}, we shift our mindset to the gift of what being together as a family means. there’s beauty in every sunday morning moment, even if it’s different from what we are used to. i shared with a friend recently that God has always been nearby. “if there’s one thing i’ve learned these past few years it’s God knows what He’s doing. trials are always going to precede triumph,” i wrote to her.
i feel like that’s exactly what minneapolis has been for us: trial then triumph. minneapolis has stretched us, challenged us, brought us super close. nearly everything about minneapolis has been new to us, including what sunday morning looks like for our family. and ya know what? that’s perfectly OK ♥.
Thank you for sharing your heart on such a personal issue. Finding a church that you love is one of the harder things in life to accomplish. I have many friends who struggle with this same issue.(By issue I mean, wanting to be part of community but struggling with the guilt because it hasn’t happened yet) We have been very lucky to have found a church home that we love and feel connected with many years ago. You are right, God knows what He is doing and I am also sure that He would want you to let go of the guilt. But, I would encourage you to not give up searching if it is something that your heart desires. :) I hope I didn’t misunderstand what you were saying or offend in anyway. I just felt compelled to share my thoughts with you. xo, Jen
the church we go to currently is where we worship on sundays, but not where we join in for community. we love the service but haven’t found a way to connect with smaller groups… which used to bother me SO MUCH, but i’ve let go of that part :)
Hey thanks for sharing this! I spent about 4 years not going to church recently, but I’ve always felt that God was still with me & I still could have a personal relationship with him without always going to church. I have recently found a church I connected with though & have been regularly attending since the start of this new year. I also joined a small group, which has made it even more meaningful to me. I do feel like I’ve been closer to God since I started regularly going back to church, but I know that it’s not always for everyone, and sometimes it can take a while to find one that you click with, and that’s ok too. I think you can find God anywhere :) And that can totally be in your family times on Sunday mornings if that’s where you’re supposed to be right now!
Wow this one shot straight to my heart! My family and I also struggle with the “guilt” of being absent from church for so long, even though our faith is strong. We haven’t found a church home yet and if nothing else, I have learned so much about myself and my faith through the struggle. I learned there is SO much more to walking with God, and being a Christian than filling the pews every Sunday. I also grew up going to church, and not going feels wrong. But we also have a Sunday morning ritual, that may not include church, but includes reflection, quiet times and taking time to pause and just be a family. I’m right there with ya, sister.
even though we’re not going to church regularly i have let go of the need to worry all the time, which is a huge step for me! so even though we aren’t in the pew every sunday i do feel like my faith has grown immensely since moving here. it’s an amazing feeling! :) thanks so much for your comment aimee! xoxo
I agree with a lot of what you said- I believe God is with you and you can always go to Him, but all that comes into mind is find a church!
I can’t even tell you the difference is hearing the word on Sundays and any other classes we attend and having fellowship!
Oh, to be with likeminded friends!
To have friends that pray for you and lift you up!
You are your husband seem to have such a great marriage- you would be such a wonderful addition to any church.
God wants to use both of you.
Praying for God’s will in both of your lives.
i know :(
we just can’t seem to find one that meets all of our needs, which is why we’re OK with only going to church for worship instead of joining in with a community group, too. we’re not able to do weeknight community groups and most of the churches we’ve really liked only have community groups on weeknights. i keep praying that one day we’ll be able to participate more :)
I really appreciate this honest post. We’ve made the mistake of jumping into a church too quickly simply out of guilt. We have learned it is better to wait for the right fit. We’re currently still waiting for that. And enjoying our quiet Sunday evenings–since I spend most Sunday mornings at work.
…i appreciate your honest comment ♥
Hi Gussy,
I understand what you’re saying, it’s hard to just choose a church. There’s more to it than that, as becoming part of the community, you want to find a church where you feel lead to go. There should be an obvious annointing on the pastor or else the congregation will not be fed properly, and the church should not be stagnant, but be actively involved in their community. It’s a big decision to make, so I pray that God will lead you in your decision, but in the mean time that you will still spend time with God in prayer and in His Word as that’s where true growth comes from. God Bless you! Enjoy your Sunday! :)
We have been in the same situation for a couple of years… and we are still sitting in jammies at 11:45, drinking tea, and hanging out as a family. It’s lovely and it won’t be like this forever so we’re enjoying it now!
After a really hurtful church experience, my husband and I really hesitated from diving into our new church family. It’s taken a good three years to really start to feel connected and sometimes I still don’t feel like we quite fit in. It’s hard because I too was always very involved in church when I was younger and this has been a new season. But I know guilt is not from God…only conviction and if your heart is at peace with your decision then that’s all you need to be concerned with. I do pray God will bring you to the right church community in His perfect timing! xoxoxo
thank you heather!!!! XO
Thanks for sharing so openly. I agree with Heather’s comment. Enjoy this time of quiet. It may be His way of helping you cope with all the stress in your life on other days. After all, Sabbath was meant to be a day of rest.
True, you don’t have to be in church to worship the Lord. And I’m not criticizing you in any way (I’ve been known to skip church), BUT what I have found is the friends I have made and the encouragement I get from them weekly is super uplifting. I’m sure once you find a church that y’all really love, you’ll WANT to go to church on Sunday mornings :)
That’s just it… We haven’t found anything we love. :)
Just felt like I wanted to put my two cents in. I didn’t love my church at all when Nate and I first started attending. but after 5 years there now, i can’t imagine life without it. It was something that we really had to invest in to put our roots down, and Christ has really really blessed us.
I think God created us for community. He didn’t want us to do this life alone. And while you may not have found the right fit yet, DON’T give up! He will lead you to where you should be.
Hebrews 10:25
maggie, such a sweet post that i LOVED.
shawn and i were both raised in the church.
did our own thing in college.
then once we had children felt the need to re-integrate into a faith community. sometimes, we sleep in, then go to the park to take in the beauty God created. and i don’t feel guilty about that. i always try to remember how, on the 7th day, God RESTED. i never want Sundays to be the busiest day of the week. it should be a day for reflection, family, introspection, prayer, gratitude, a SABBATH.
and that sounds like JUST what you are doing.
cool beans.
also, i’m adding that it took us 6 years to find a church that finally fit.
and it’s not quite perfect (the children’s program is a bit lacking).
so sometimes we are dorky and listen to online sermons. :-)
My husband and I moved halfway around the world about six months ago. One of the things that really helped us feel comfortable with the transition was that there would be a church and congregation waiting for us. We are lucky enough to belong to a faith where you don’t have to go church hunting, but have people waiting with open arms. Despite that, there has been a lack of community. A great many cultural and language barriers have made friendship a treasured commodity. What surprised me was how much I missed having someone to serve. I noticed that as soon as I began praying for service opportunities, friends started popping out of the woodwork! These kindred spirits have given be a solid footing in our foreign home and, while not of our faith, have inspired me to love my little congregation even more. As the days and weeks pass, my heart is being filled with more people to love and a greater sense of peace and contentment.
Yay for you….taking a true Sabbath!!
Us too, Maggie! We both grew up in the Baptist church and we left our church home about 10 yrs ago and never have really had one since then. But as you said, God is close by. And I’m reminded of a saying “Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in your garage makes you a car!”. We do need Christian fellowship to fill our soul and now there is all kinds of ways to do that! There is peace on Sunday mornings at out house as we breakfast together and “just be”. I’m hopeful for a new church home but I let my guilt go long ago.
The support, love, prayers and bonds of a church family are tremendously important, especially in this sin sick world, but first and foremost, church is about God and we demonstrate our desire to worship and praise Him when we gather together as His Bride. “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25)
finding a home church is definitely on our hearts and we’re eager to see where we end up :)
As the wife of a pastor, this is one of life’s decisions I will never get to make. My church will always be chosen for me, depending on where my husband finds work. However, one solid ground that I do have is that, as Methodists, the basic systematic beliefs of which whatever church we are serving will always be the same. And I do love being Methodist. ;)
Anyways – my heart reaches out to you because while it is true that you don’t have to be in a church to worship God, it is also true that He calls us to be a communal people. Finding a place that you love (especially in a city where there are so many churches to choose from) can be impossible. But I encourage you to remember that it isn’t about the church, the building, the pastor, the ministries, the outreach, the sermons, or the music. “Church” is about the relationship between you and God, and you and other people through God. Find a place that nourishes your relationship with God, regardless of all the outward coverings, and you will find your home. I will be praying for you in your search friend. :)
Oh my, this post really spoke to me…I grew up never missing a single Sunday {or Wednesday, or whatever other days the doors were open}, being a part of the music team, teaching junior church for the kids, etc. But then we got married & moved an hour away, and that really changed things. We still got to the same church, but living farther away means that we go for the 10:45 Sunday morning service and that’s about it. I still feel guilty sometimes, like I should be doing more. Yesterday we stayed home from church because we got home from a family gathering really late on Saturday night…and it was such a blessing. We got to rest, went to the pool, and just spent time together. It really was a necessity for us this week, so I’m trying not to feel guilty and instead be thankful that God gave me the day just to spend with my husband. :)
As a fellow Minneapolis gal, I’d love to invite you to try out Eagle Brook Church. My husband and I absolutely love it! It saddens us to miss a weekend because then we miss out on the community and incredible services. The Spring Lake Park campus is our home and it’s not TOO far of a hike from Minneapolis :) I know a lot of friends that commute from there. Doesn’t hurt to try :) http://www.eaglebrookchurch.com
Here’s a link to the Spring Lake Park Facebook page…gives you a better idea of what this campus is like. The website mainly shows Lino Lakes pictures which is a WAY bigger environment. https://www.facebook.com/ebcslp?ref=ts
hey rachel! oh man, thanks so much for reaching out to us about this church! sadly, the spring lake campus is 30 minutes from our house… that’s a bit too far for us. we have a few friends that attend a different campus and they love eagle brook!!! bummer!!!!!!
Here’s a link to the Spring Lake Park Facebook page…gives you a better idea of what this campus is like. The website mainly shows Lino Lakes pictures which is a WAY bigger environment. https://www.facebook.com/ebcslp?ref=ts
Thank you for being so honest. We recently moved and are looking for a new church to attend and like you, we haven’t found anything we love and it’s becoming a struggle for me. I also grew up going to church every Sunday and I’ve been told that you “need” to attend church in order to stay on the right path so I’m really having a hard time with it all. I know in my heart that God loves me and no matter what he will be patient while we figure out what is best for us.
yes… and rushing to find a church just to say “we have one!” won’t do any good, either. i know the importance of having a home church :) and we trust it will be shown to us when it’s time. i’ll be praying for the same for you, shelly! xoxo
Great post Gussy! I’d like to welcome you to Wooddale Church in Eden Prairie. Sunday night at 6 p.m. is the service for the younger crowd, called The Gathering. The music is amazing and many times they have an art element. The pastor is your kind of girl, Jill Fox. Following the service they have small groups – they also do broomball, retreats, etc. Makes me wish I was in my twenties! Let me know if I can provide more info. Glad you know the Lord :)
http://www.wooddalegathering.org/ and https://www.facebook.com/wooddalegathering.
God bless :) Renee in Minnetonka
Thanks for this. I was really involved in church in high school and went to a Christian college, but because of things in life… pain and heartache… I haven’t really found my way back. Not comfortably, anyway. It’s hard and I honestly just don’t want to be there because of things in my own heart. I know its a place I need to be…and God’s working on that. I know what you mean about the guilt too… its there, pretty much daily. I hate it because its definitely not from God!
My husband and I went through the same exact thing. Luckily we found a church that we needed for us and they ended up they had been praying for people like us so it was a win win. We also have had to rely on God for the things going on in our lives, funds are tight and we are looking to move, but we know that God is faithful and he’s got us. That seems to be our mantra: God’s got us. It’ll happen for you too, God has a plan. :)
Thank you for the post. :)
Gussy…
I LOVE YOUR HONESTY!
It is refreshing.
Thanking God we have an incredible church family that has rallied around the girls and I in my husbands absence, We’re talking, they bought us a car and when it failed us, bought us a van. Paid our rent for months…yes, months. 27 people from our church showed up to help us move in February. People brought us random bags of groceries and diapers, not to mention gas cards and gift cards. Oh yeah…the notes of encouragement I find in my box every Sunday.
My church is my family…hoping you can find a church family eventually…because when you find that “fit”, you just know it!
Love you!
xoo
I appreciate your honesty on the topic of faith – your feelings are completely heartfelt. My family just moved across the country and one of the only things that brought me comfort was knowing we would find the same church 2,000 miles away (or just about anywhere else in the world we could have gone). We were welcomed with open arms and even though we’ve been here for a month, I already feel like I’m home. I hope that you find a church that is fulfilling and makes you happy – one that doesn’t just make you happy just on Sundays, but all week long as well.
Much love,
–Anna
We go to a large church (+2000), we left a church that was smaller (300), it took us 6 months to find friends. People our age weren’t meeting anywhere at church, they were scattered. That was when we approached the pastor about starting a Marriage class. That was the best thing that happened. It saved marriages & we found friends & it brought the other spouse to church in a non-threatening way. 6 years later, that class still exists and it’s a huge hit on meeting people.
It takes time to feel comfortable at a church. We went for weeks where nobody said hi to us. We walked in with our kids and walked out with our kids. I started volunteering in the nursery. Now I’m on the leadership team for Women’s Ministry of the church. It’s connecting women to God, one girlfriend at a time!
Churches are a revolving door. People are always coming and going. My husband and I host “Dinner for 8” monthly. That where we invite 3 other couples that we DO NOT KNOW and have them over for dinner. By the end of the night, we have made friends with 3 more couples.
Good luck in your search for a church.
Come join us! We’re just outside the city at Pax Christi! Tons of groups…even a sewing group :)
CBS Sunday morning program, the Sunday paper(Star Tribune), coffee and breakfast,then a bike ride somewhere. We like going from Fort Snelling State park to Minnihaha Falls. God is everywhere!
Thanks for your honesty. We’ve also struggled with making it to church on a regular basis, especially since baby #2 was born. Our only day at home together as a family is Sunday, so sometimes we worship in church, and sometimes go to the zoo or donut shop, or hang out in PJs. God knows our hearts, and our struggles. Praying you will continue to grow through this time, and find a church you love soon! (Maybe The Table at CPC in Edina? I know they have small groups that meet on various days.)
Thank you for this post! My husband and I are in a similar situation, and this has inspired me to try and stop forcing it and let us be a family and pray for the right time. I know the importance of finding the right place, but I should also embrace the joy of letting it be :)
Hi Gussy – I found this so refreshing to read. I can totally relate, particularly as I’ve had to up and move a number of times due to work, etc. And I do believe there are seasons in everything. So if regular church isn’t happening right now, it doesn’t mean it won’t a little further down the track.
I understand not being able to find a church, in fact we have been searching for one for nearly 5 years! I have found, however, that once you have been Born Again you must make sure that you are walking daily in the Word of God. It will hold you accountable, sting your conscience if your in the wrong, give you a deeper sense of joy and peace than any words can express, and best of all lead you into a truly fulfilling relationship with the Lord. “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
well, hi there! :)
fellow minneapolis dweller here.
not sure where you are located, but our family felt right at home at our current church (Hope Community Church in downtown minneapolis) when we began attending shortly after moving to the city about 2 years ago.
http://hopecc.com/
This coming Sunday the entire church will be gathering together at a retreat center, but there are regularly 3 services to choose from.
Shoot me an email if you’d like to learn more or even just to meet up for coffee with a fellow faith-filled gal.
Cheers!
~H