so far this weekend i’ve spent a lot of time relaxing and resting. friday night started out with zack heading over to the university of minnesota to volunteer for the rest of the weekend ~ like 32 hours total, with a starcraft tournament. it’s mega nerdy, for sure, but i am ECSTATIC that zack gets to spend the weekend doing what he loves. non-stop. i stopped by yesterday morning to get a feel for what a video game tournament actually looks like and i… ummm, only saw 1 other girl there ;D and like 59 million computers.
the rest of yesterday was spent snuggling with bauer. we took a few naps. watched a terrible lifetime movie online {hah}, went for a walk. and then i had a fantastic idea that i’m excited to share soon. if you’re in/near minneapolis, THIS MEANS YOU! ♥ i’ve spent quite a bit of time reading + replying to the comments left from thursday’s + friday’s posts. my mind has been all over the place trying to process what i’ve read, learned and am trying to implement for the future.
also, i found some amazing follow-up posts that others have written on the topic of friendships + loneliness that i shared in the comments. here are the links in case you missed them: 4 ways to be a better friend, what you can find while you’re waiting on friends.
i know i’ve said this already but i am truly amazed at the number of women hurting over the loss of a great friends it’s a delicate emotion and it’s reminding me to be even more gentle, with myself + others. probably the main thing i’ve learned is that it’s really easy to sit back and wait for someone else to take action, but what probably needs to happen is for YOU to take action. you need to seek out a friend. be persistent, be a nagging nelly :) try, try, try. i think i’m more interested now in finding a friend because it’ll shift a little of the focus onto something more exciting. basically that’s called PROGRESS.
today’s 7 pretty things on Sunday post is going to be a little different. instead of showing photos i’m going to make a list of different things i’m thankful for + learning during this season:
1. arriving home friday afternoon to a box chocolate-dipped fruit waiting on my front porch ~ from a sweet blog friend! so thoughtful, so delicious {it’s almost gone}… i felt so special :)
2. the idea of a gratitude journal: every day you write down 5 things you’re thankful for. i LOVE the idea of ending my day with things i’m thankful for, reminds me of this friend’s book.
3. wearing a sweatshirt from high school :)
4. sharing some of my hurts has oddly given me more freedom to not spend so much time online…
5. …which reminds me that it’s not OK to feel sorry for myself over friendships that are linked to other cities. those friendships have a unique purpose and they aren’t for the intimate day-to-day moments. i need –and will– to find local friends.
6. this is totally silly, but bangs that are finally growing out. changing things up is exciting, ya know!
7. one of the comments left has sparked an idea that i’m crazy excited about. so like i mentioned above, if you are in/near minneapolis… stay tuned! tee hehe
have you had a few minutes to read some of the comments left? what are your thoughts…?
okie dokie, that’s it for this lovely sunday.
wishing you a happy, joy-filled day! xoxo
Love the nap with Bauer pic! :) And I can’t wait to hear about your idea…I am hoping that although I am not “in” Minneapolis…that maybe I am “near” enough?! :) I too lost my best friend in November 2010…she passed away and that has never been fully replaced. Although I have met some wonderful women through blogging that have filled that void. I am starting to learn that maybe that friendship isn’t meant to be “replaced”…that is what makes it so special. Have a wonderful Sunday!!
that’s a precious perspective :)
are you “near” enough to minneapolis that you could come to the city a couple times a month?? ♥
Well I am a good 3 hrs away probably…but I am still excited to see what you have planned and if it would be possible at all! :)
Oooh. Can’t wait to hear what you have in mind for Minneapolis folks! Even though I’m not living there *right now*, it is always my home, and I know some awesome people are going to end up being involved!!
hey! i just started reading your blog more regularly, and i am so so happy i have! each post has been so great and i get so excited each one a new one comes along. you are a huge inspiration and i am so impressed that you are able to share yourself so fully with the online community.
excited to hear what you have in store! especially for those of us here in mpls…
xoxo alex.
oh. my. goodness. gracious. I wish I lived there, no doubt about it. The husband and I will be landing in your lovely city in about five hours TOPS. I’m so excited!
Anyways, I can’t wait to hear what you have in store. Also; my husband is a super nerd too but doesn’t do the tournaments for Starcraft. (He was wondering your husband’s “handle” if Zack wouldn’t mind giving it out.)
Don’t you love these ‘growing’ phases we go through. There’s something so exciting about all our “ah ha” moments. Wondering…have you found a place to worship Jesus? I know you talked about it some time ago…and it’s Sunday and I just was curious. Have a blessed weekend!
yes and no. we’ve been going to one church in particular since november but don’t go every sunday… and we haven’t gotten involved… such a bummer.
HA, I was just joking with my husband about wearing my old cheerleading jacket and would it have magical powers to bring back my 17 year old body…which then made me think of that movie 17 again…which then made me think of that Jen Garner movie 30 something…which then made me think of my childhood friendships…which then made me think “Why can’t woman be more like girls: how easy they made friends” Which made me think WOW, I hope Gussy wants to meet a bunch of us that live here…aaaaaaaannnnnddddd TaDa! Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. :0)
Hi Gussy! I’m just wondering if you’ve ever thought about doing some kind of class at one of the great sewing shops in Minneapolis – Crafty Planet comes to mind. It might be a great way to meet people! I left Minne for Florida 10 years ago, and still miss my best friend (who lives there)! I get to come up to visit a lot though, and although it took a long time, I eventually found some good friends here. Hang in there – Minneapolis IS full of nice people!
I am very new to reading your blog regularly, but I am so glad to have found you! You are such a sweet person, and I too can relate to your feelings of loneliness. I also feel that my regret over not keeping in touch and the belief that it is probably “too late” prevents me from reaching out sometimes – such a vicious cycle, right? Well, you have inspired me to break the cycle and just reach out already! For that, I am soooo thankful for YOU! Although I may be right and in some cases it may be too late, but if I don’t try, I have to live with that and you’ve helped me realize that that’s not OK with me.
I am more in central MN, but close enough to drive into the cities for my internship once a week (3x/week this past summer). So, I am also excited for your ideas for Minneapolis folks. I would love to meet you sometime, and I was thinking…..say you wanted to check out a museum/craft fair/whatevs but didn’t want to go alone or know who to ask – maybe I could help out….? I find that’s the hardest thing for me – finding friends to go explore with. :o)
Also, are you interested in help finding a church that may be a better fit or are you happy with where you are now? Perhaps your readers could make some suggestions for you if you were willing to share some specifics about what you are looking for. Just a thought!
Take care, and keep up the good work!
<3 Chelsea
Hey Maggie,
Right after my 31 day series in October I wrote a whole three part series on what I did when I found myself very, very lonely after leaving the work force and having my daughter. After four years, I can say that I FINALLY have that group of women friends I’ve been praying about. It took a lot of work, but just like the other ways you’ve shaped your life (from 30 library books to a full-time Gussy career), you can take on this challenge too. Your sweet, fun personality will definitely serve to help that!! If you are interested in hearing what I did during my “friend desert”, I’ve included the link for the first in my series.
http://www.upsidedownkate.com/2011/11/creating-a-community-part-one/
Can’t wait to hear about the local, face-to-face friends you’re going to meet! STill praying for you, dear heart!
Thank you so much for being transparent…for sharing your heart. Please know that you are not alone. Yes, it may be a season of life and logically we know that, but emotionally out hearts still feel the pain. I too have struggled with this very issue and appreciate your honesty. I could write for what seems like an eternity on this very subject, but I think I’ll end with this…
There is a reason I visited your blog today. If you ever feel like meeting for coffee/tea to chat more in depth, I am in the Twin Cities would be honored to meet with you. I shop at Crafty Planet and have an obsession with fabric…drives my hubby insane. :0) I digress…
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs and blessings!
I have a gratitude journal too! It really does help you realize the little things!
We moved back to Mpls 20 years ago after my husband retired from the Army ( in the army we always had tons of friend). We started going to the church across the street, I even joined a woman’s Bible study. It took 12 years before I made a friend! I was sooooo lonely. I prayed constantly for a friend to do things with..crafting, shopping, exploring, etc. I’m not really sure yet why I went through this, but I’m thinking God wanted me to rely more on him. As I drew closer to God, new things opened up, a new church, new Bible Study, a small group. Still no “real friend”. While helping out someone from our small group, I found we had som many things in common. She was lonely, too. Today we are so close. She now lives an hour away. I also became friends with the woman who invited us to join their small group. She lives 2 hours away now. Our husands are all great friends, too. So, although I am “friendless” during the week and most weekends, I know I/we have friends for life. When your time comes, I’m sure you’ll find a life long friend. We are searching for a new church again, so I’m hoping I’ll meet some new “local” friends. I have found, tho, that unless I attend church every Sunday, I don’t feel connected and it’s not easy for me to get involved. Be patient, God has someone special for you.