Last week Thursday I flew out to Pennsylvania for Relevant, and just like last time I flew I felt a lot of peace, until it was time to say goodbye to Zack. I think the more I process this fear the more I learn about it, like how maybe death is really the root of this issue, but it just presents itself the most boldly through a fear of flying? But that may be another post for another time :] Both of my flights out to PA were easy; the second/last flight was a little scary while we were preparing to land but I had on my brave wings and was actually calming the new friend sitting next to me :] Funny how that works, right?
However, all throughout Relevant I felt so much friction. I had made it there with very little anxiety and so naturally you-know-who was pouting, so he threw a really ugly tantrum and showed up in the form of self-consciousness and loneliness. Again, possibly another post for another time… but, the point is that the devil did not shy away from getting into my head ~ oh no, he sure did not. I felt so sick most of Friday from this and was sooooo so so happy when the things I was feeling quickly dissolved. I think that is called answered prayer :] or happiness.
But then Sunday came, yesterday, and you-know-who didn’t take the day off to rest. Right away yesterday morning my heart felt heavy. Sitting in the hotel lobby with Stephanie and Holley I felt… really uncomfortable. All I wanted was to be home with my hubby and pup so badly, but that meant I needed to get on the plane. Here’s something I’ve been thinking about often, Why is it that at the time we are the most obedient to God we also feel the most attacks from the devil?
I texted Zack at 5:20am, I wanted him to pray for me, but he is amazing and he CALLED me so we could chat for a few minutes. We boarded our flight, I sat next to Steph ~ she read her Bible and I was reading What Women Fear. We both commented how beautiful our flight attendant was and in just a few minutes we’d learn where her beauty came from. While serving drinks, she stopped to ask Stephanie which book she was reading.
- I know you’re reading the Bible, but which book are you reading?
The door was opened…
On her way back down the aisle she stopped once more,
- I felt the LORD speaking to me and so I want to share this story with you.
We learned her name was Cynthia as she went on to share an amazing story of how God protected her a few years ago by removing her name from the crew list of that days flight. She shared that she later found out that same flight crashed and everyone on the plane died. And yes, that is totally scary for me to write because I am terrified that is going to happen to me, but there’s more to her story… Cynthia told us that the tragedy made her so thankful that her trust is in the LORD. And it reminds me that all of our days are numbered and God already knows the who/what/where/when/why, so I better stop worrying about all of those things ;] There’s power in repetition, right?
If you know me then you KNOW I had just one question for her: how in the world does she continue to fly when something so scary {scary to me} nearly happened to her??? And you know what she told me? She said she feels that God’s plan for her is to be a flight attendant ~ and not to be selfish, but *I* am so thankful that is God’s plan for her, too! Her story made the tears started falling ~ It really takes a lot of courage from me every time I book a flight to get on the flight, sit down, and give it all to the LORD, that He has a plan for me… Every few months I continue to be brave and give my trust to God.
Isaiah 41:13 {NIV}
For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Matthew 10:27 {NIV}
What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.
So, a quick secret: this post was not what I intended on sharing for today, but I guess someone had other plans ;]
As you start this new week, be encouraged! Whatever scary things are filling your mind, know you are fought for daily. Don’t keep your fears to yourself, don’t make yourself sick over them like I often do.
Look for the angels, they are always nearby ~ and they aren’t afraid to fly.
xoxo
love you maggie! i felt some of the same tugs this weekend and was always happy to see your smile. fear is a mysterious thing, but we don’t have to listen to its whispers. love.
xxoooooo
Wow–I loved reading this. I too have a very real fear of flying–to the point of shaking and crying on planes. I can’t explain it–and when I do people and family just stare and say things like ” give it go God”, and ” don’t you have faith that the Lord is bigger than your fear” , and oh my favorite “more crashes on the ground than in the air”. I just hate flying–it’s a fear that keeps me on the ground most days. So reading this was a huge blessing for 2 reasons 1) yea–I ‘m so happy i’m not the only “normal” young christian woman on the planet that has this crazy fear and 2) because the testimony of the flight attn. was super amazing! Thank you
Gussy – what a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing! I can’t wait until we can meet IRL at the Abundance Conference in April! No flying there! :) It is so true that satan attacks us when we are seeking God most…someone once told me that if I am under attack I must be doing the “right” thing and I am more of a threat! I wish we wouldn’t have to face that but it is beautiful when God gets the glory as we walk through it! Hugs and blessings! :)
Kristin
I keep reminding myself of that — someone up above must be REALLY happy with me, right? ;]
thanks for the comment! XO
Gussy,
I loved reading your post. I’m thankful that you are home safely, but most of all I’m thankful that you know our God is in complete control and NOT ONE thing is going on that HE doesn’t know about. How wonderful and comforting is that? Have a blessed day serving our King!
Kristie
Beautiful post!!
Much love,
Future Mama
http://expectingablessing.blogspot.com/
Yea for you, Gussy! I love your faith. I love this post. And I love how God brought your flight attendant to you at just the time you needed that encouragement.
Love you!
love you my friend! :)
I am so glad God had other plans for your post today! This raw post is so relatable, and I know many people appreciate you sharing :) The way you described your anxieties are EXACTLY what happens to me! I know that through these “lessons” God is simply refining us, and molding us to be exactly what He created us to be. It can just be so hard to breathe when you are in the thick of it ;) It’s great to know I’m not the only one who apparently needs some refining!
i read this and cried.
the enemy attacks me in the very. same. fashion. and yet the LORD rescues me every single time.
it is encouraging to know that i am not alone, and that He is {always} fighting for us.
thank you for being brave enough to fly and to write.
It is also amazing the people God places in our lives to share the story we most need to hear. Thank you for sharing!!!
I hope you had a wonderful evening at church last night.
What an awesome post :) If I was at Relevant, I’m sure I would have been feeling those same “lonely” attacks. I get them often. And I totally get what you mean about the devil attacking us when we seem to be in obedience to God. I’ve had that happen a lot this last week, and it comes out in ugliness to my kids. I keep handing it over to God daily, and maybe, just maybe, I will see some progress today. I really hope.
such a beautiful post! And what an amazing story the flight attendant had! God is truly amazing.
Gussy, this post brought tears to my eyes this a.m. I think FEAR is what holds me back frim many things. Mostly about being accepted. How silly, I should feel so content with what God has given me, my family. Over the last 15 yrs of having babies and raising a family I have lost those connections I once had with friends. It makes my heart sad. But……lately I am trying to conquer my fear of being accepted and reach out in the blogging world. I am happy to say that you were the start of this journey for me and I will forevre be grateful for your kindness:)
xoxxxo
“inspiration is all around you” — XO :)
I love this post Maggie. I am a NERVOUS WRECK to fly. I flew alone for this first time last month and something about that took every piece of BRAVE I have in my body. About to go for # 2 next week and I am already having panic attacks… :/
Oh, friend. I’m so glad you had that angel on your flight. Being obedient to the Lord is the last thing the devil wants – he’s only going to work that much harder to tear you down. And that won’t ever change – I experienced whispers of something just last week that I’d been healed from for years. But it does get easier to stay strong in Him, and having people around you that are ready to pray is definitely the way to go. So excited for you that you’re trusting in Him to conquer those fears!
i have to chime in – i know its your blog but.. i really wish i could skip the religious posts you have :/ they just make me uncomfortable as someone who isn’t, but i love reading your other posts. just trying to politely share my point of view as a longtime reader, no offense or disrespect intended!
hi S, I understand :)
At the top of each post, under the post title, are categories I choose for the post. If it says “Faith” that’s your sign to bypass :)
xxoo
unfortunately, the tags don’t show in my RSS feed. but thanks for pointing it out!
Thank you, Gussy, for using this platform that you have been given to bring glory and honor to our God! Such an incredible story- I have been blessed!
As much as you were struggling with your own fears, you noticed me sitting quietly at dinner and made the effort to draw me out and make me feel comfortable. That was a highlight of my time there- a picture of God loving me through one of his daughters. Thanks, Maggie! xo :)
aww! anything for you :) the truth is i knew how you were feeling because i’ve felt that way, too. i’m glad we sat near each other during dinner!!! i hope i didn’t ask you too many questions –wink! i think you’re adorable and super sweet!!!! now, when can we have dinner together again?
Such great encouragement to start out a busy week~
Thank you for sharing your heart with us, Maggie!
xo,
Tracy
I just want you to know that you are not alone in your fears. I think women have a lot of fears. But your words encouraged me so much! I love how God shows up all the times in our lives with just what we need, if we only keep our hearst open to Him! My pastor’s sermon yesterday was about fear. God has it all under control and we only have to trust in Him. He loves us – He is trustWORTHY!
God bless you today.
thanks SO much! i’m having an MRI this afternoon for some shoulder pain and am anxious about it. and then i get anxious about being anxious about it. you have been an encouragement to me today. blessings! glad to know you made it back here safely and so glad you could go to Relevant, even if you didn’t feel fabulous every single moment. happy monday to you!
I love this post, but what i love most, is that in the comments, someone was uncomfortable. Instead of apologizing, you simply showed the reader the secret to knowing if the post is for her or not! Thank you, for not apologizing! All too often, I find we apologize for how we feel, or what we believe when someone doesnt agree. That is true encouragment for me this morning.
What an amazing post! And to have that conversation with the flight attendant!! Whoah!
I had never flown my whole life and swore up and down I never would.My fear was HUGE. Then my husband got a new job this year and they wanted him to go to a conference in Vegas. One of my friends said ‘There’s no way you can let him go with out you.Even a good Christian man should NOT go there without his wife.’
So I did a lot of praying and so did all my friends. I got on that plane! Because my God is soooooo much bigger than my fear!! Now I’m so glad I did and I’m looking forward to whatever adventure my next flight takes me.
XOXOXO
Nikki
Seriously, I am crying right now. Its so amazing to me how you and I {and many many others that read your blog} are so far away from one another, and yet our spirits are tied with the sisterhood of Christ. ;) Your words spoke to me so much this morning because I am going through something that could bring fear out in me. {I am continually amazed at how much you and I think – and are attacked, unfortunately – alike.} There is a burden on my heart that I have been going to the Lord for, but every day I feel the devil attack my thoughts. And to make matters worse, this morning, my daughter – not yet even two – came to me and expressed the same burden in tears…of course, in toddler-ese. I was blown away, but also broken hearted. My heart breaks today, but I am super encouraged by your words. Thank you for sharing what the Lord placed on your heart. :) Love you, friend. :)
Thank you for sharing this today. You have NO idea how much I needed to hear it. I’m flying to DC (from Utah) in 2 weeks for 3 days of 7 hours a day of hospital tests and I am beyond terrified. Not only for the flight, but for what my illness is doing to my body.
Such a wonderful post. Thank you.
I’m glad you are home safe and sound. Thank you for sharing your stories, your ruffles and your faith.
Thank you for this post!
Thank you so much for sharing this today. I needed to hear this! What a beautiful thing for her to share with you and then for you to share with us.
I think HE gets us in a corner sometimes when THE only thing we can do is OPEN up to HIS plan…and stop trying so hard to contrive events to what we perceive with limited sight as a “good, happy, etc” outcome.
Angels tend to fly in through open heart windows…
IMHO.
Blessings!
thank you for sharing this post! what an amazing story! I really love the two Bible verses you quoted! this post has definitely lifted my spirits and when you said “As you start this new week, be encouraged! Whatever scary things are filling your mind, know you are fought for daily. Don’t keep your fears to yourself, don’t make yourself sick over them like I often do. Look for the angels, they are always nearby ~ and they aren’t afraid to fly”….that we are fought for daily by our father in Heaven really got me! we all have fears and it is true, the closer we get to God,the more the devil tries to discourage us and fill us w/doubt. I believe in everyday miracles :)
:) beelittlequeen.blogspot.com
Gussy–we never met this weekend, but I think I met every one of your roommates (bummer). I can totally relate with your fear. I went through (and it comes back) a horrible bout of anxiety, fear, & depression over a year ago. Night time was the worst. I made changes to my eating & exercise, which helped a lot; yet, there was still that lingering fear, which remained. You wrote about it in the fear of death. I have really had to practice mindfulness to keep it away. After my recent miscarriage, I found for the first time that I didn’t fear death. I saw death as a gift when I get to meet my baby I didn’t know. I’m so glad you shared your story & I too am thankful we got Angie’s book. Blessings!
Sweet Gus. I all your Relevant sisters can relate to this on different levels. And yes, Satan does like to make us feel defeated and discouraged when there is so much potential to shine the light in those dark places.
I see so many ways women deal with their loneliness or insecurity at conferences…by surrounding themselves with cool people, by excluding others from the group, hiding in their rooms, seeking popularity or attention, visibly pouting…I’ve seen women do all of those things at conferences. And I’ve probably done some of them as well :-) You are not the only one who feels insecure. And I know what you mean about your fears. I burst into ugly sobbing tears when Ann spoke that last night because I was so afraid of all the things God asks me to do and what He might ask next. I don’t feel worthy or capable and I just want to go home. But that same God that is big enough to give us wings to fly is big enough to hold the whole world in his hands. I think we are safe. He wants us to be in the place of friction because it is the place where we can learn to rely on Him. If we were perfectly confident and capable, we wouldn’t bring HIM glory. Love you Gussy girl. You are already amazing ;-)
Thank you for sharing your heart! I love hearing about your faith. What an awesome story!
Love you, gus gus.
I saw your post on facebook and decided to visit your blog re: the giveaway. What a gift I have gotten already! Thank you for sharing your fear and the amazing story. Oh what a mighty God we serve.
LOVE. THIS. thank you and I needed this encouragement too :) Awesome post as I will be sharing this with others :) thanks again!!!
Miss Maggie, I adore you, and I appreciate this story, I don’t battle these fears, but I do battle the stresses of being stretched too far, much of the time, and I must get a handle on it. I would love if you would send up some prayers for me to keep it all in balance. I must constantly remind myself, God is in the driver seat, and He is in charge. We just need to do our part, to the best of our ability, with the talents He has given us for this life he has given us.
wow. just the words I needed reiterated into my being.
husband is in remission and we go for CT scans tomorrow…again. fear.
like a thief in the night. I love the verse Isaiah 40:13 thanks for sharing.
clinging to the cross.
i mean 41:13
Thanks for sharing this story! I needed the encouragement. :)
Hi Gussy! I am a new follower – heard you were such a nice gal. And then this is one of the first posts that I read. What a great story of God’s care for you in providing that flight attendant and her story! Have a blessed day! ~Sally
Beautiful post, my friend!
beautiful post, gussy.
I miss the sisterhood of relevant already, but I am blessed to have met you!
{I have a silly pic of you with that deer ring :)) }
tee hehe, you doooo? ;]
I feel the same way whenever I fly. Not so much a fear, but it provokes thoughts on death and the current state of my belief and soul. Heavy stuff flying is!
I got referred to you from Melissa @ The Inspired Room. I really like the blog so far!
hey stephanie! thanks for your comment! yeah, heavy stuff for sure. makes me want to be a kid again so i don’t have to have these crazy complicated thoughts! xoxo
Praise the Lord. What a beautiful testament.
This is such a great story! Thank you for sharing it. And I must know – what app are you using for your great medium formattish (is that a word?) pics??
hey sister! it’s an iPhone app called Instagram ;)
I use it all the time but never have the option of that cool border. Will have to play some more!
i use the Nashville filter on all my pics :)
[…] me to, the opportunities it’s brought Zack and I, the affirmation it sends my way daily, even the spiritual affirmation ~ yes, it’s been a fabulous […]
Sweet news and wonderful reminders on this fresh day of the New Year! Thanks for linking back to this post from today’s post of 01/02/2012. — Michele
Oh, my dear. Even though this has been up for a while, this has touched my heart. I’m currently being poked and prodded by homesickness, being a student in college away from home, but knowing that God is fighting for me each day makes me feel so much safer and happier. I’m so thankful to have read this and thank you for posting this! You’ll be hearing from me, so God bless! :)
hi marisa :) He is, He really is.
PS. where are you going to school and where are you from? xo
I am going to Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design! I’m from Chicago originally, though.
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Whoever wrote this, you know how to make a good aricelt.