This past Labor Day weekend, I promised myself I’d be doing very little work and instead would spend a lot of time RELAXING with my hubby & doggy. And… to be honest, we definitely did a lot of relaxing! We watched a few back-to-back episodes of The Waltons on TV, took Bauer for walks every day, played in the backyard, read books, slept-in, made yummy dinners on the grill, went to multiple bookstores in search of Handmade Sewing {word around Twitter is I was featured in a magazine??}. We also spent some time working on our budget, which isn’t fun, but not knowing if we’re staying within it is for sure not fun!
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I had a coffee date with my friend Jennifer on Friday, and we had many great conversations: our jobs, what brings inspiration, about celebrating milestones ~ to name a few. But one of the best conversations we had was how it’s OK to mourn a past stage of your life. To be honest, I feel like I’ve been mourning the life we had back in Michigan for quite some time, but didn’t realize that was what was bothering me until recently. When we moved here {to Minneapolis} 2 years ago, Zack and I were SO BUSY with the new city and new jobs — and just when I started to feel like I knew my way around the city I quit my day job to work on Gussy Sews full-time. Suddenly I was all-consumed {once again} with something soooo new & exciting. Since we left Michigan so quickly we didn’t have much time to process this new life. I know I definitely didn’t process it…
My business has grown so much since May of last year ~ I went from 1 employee to 3 employees in about 14 months… and I’ve learned SO MUCH about this handmade way of living, like how to keep a handmade biz debt-free, how to stay focused through challenging times. This has been a lot of work, but instead of taking little breaks here & there, I kept on giving, but without giving back to myself. Talking with Jennifer on Friday helped me to realize that these feelings I’ve felt come to surface recently are really just feelings of sadness. Instead of having a pity party over missing my friends from high school & college, I need to be celebrating those friendships AND the new friendships God has given me.
Now, don’t mistake what I’m saying here… I definitely believe the life I’m living right now is exactly the life God has always had planned for me to live. Some times my mind begins to think about the what-if’s: What if I wasn’t so busy over the last year, what would my business look like today? What if we hadn’t moved to Minneapolis? What if…? But I quickly stop myself. Nothing is really a what-if. Everything is planned and perfect.
So this past weekend, all of the relaxing I did {and have I mentioned I did A LOT of relaxing???!} was sparked by my coffee date with Jennifer. She encouraged me to tackle a few fun projects, gave me two thumbs up over RELAXING for a few days, and shared with me that it’s OK to take some time and mourn the past, since the present came upon me so quickly.
And you know what? Shortly after we moved out here, my mom sent some affirmation my way ~ Had we not moved to Minneapolis, Gussy Sews wouldn’t be.
Isn’t that a crazy thought?? And honestly, I can’t imagine NOT owning Gussy Sews. Living in Minneapolis has definitely been a journey for Zack and I. We’re thankful for it :] I just need to work on taking better care of myself, on making plans more often!
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Zack and I are going to write a list of fun things we want to do together, sort of like what kiddies write once summer break starts. I’m always thinking of little day adventures, but I never remember to write them down. Things like: have a backyard campfire, go to a museum, take the Light Rail {train} to the Mall of America, take Bauer to a dog park, eat ice-cream for breakfast, make a fort in the living room and watch movies all night long… :]
Have you ever done anything like this?
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The winner of the August sponsor giveaway is Kate of Of Write! C O N G R A T S, Kate! send me an email and I’ll connect you with Casey & Ashley: gussy AT gussysews DOT com
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In just a few weeks I’ll be hosting my second annual Holiday Gift Guide! It runs October 15 – December 15 and will showcase the cutest handmade shops. If you’re a shop owner, consider submitting your shop to be included. I’m anticipating 500k+ page views this season –which is insane, but such an amazing time to be promoting handmade shops. And I’m so excited about the shops I’ve already heard from, yay! Click here to fill out the form. Email me if you have questions!!
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Wishing you a happy Tuesday… xoxo
i love this post friend…i love that you’ve started to come to terms with moving, with your life being turned upside down because it gives ME strength to know i can do the same with life throws something at me I totally didn’t expect!
Jonathan and I have a list of places we want to travel to. Babies happened quick for us, quicker than we anticipated, which means several of the things we want to do have to be placed on hold. But since we can’t jaunt off to Bora Bora, like we’d like to, we try (albeit, not often) to do little jaunts around this city, which is still very new to us. As our babies get older, it’s easier to leave them at daycare or with a caregiver and to get out and do fun stuff together. And as the girlies get bigger, we’ll start planning on family get-aways to expose them to the world (I totally plan on taking them abroad!).
And I find I mourn my past life… I’m not going to lie and I don’t want to change things. But to be able to check out a new restaurant without having to consider a screaming, hungry kid. Or to grab a drink after work at a cool hip bar. Or to just go out and not feel like I’m rushing to get home to my babies. I do miss that. But I’d much rather miss my past life a little, because my babies are my whole world I wouldn’t change a thing!
I hope you had a great long holiday weekend of relaxing and enjoying. I totally get it…I mourn my old life before the girls…I LOVE them to death and would not trade this new life for the world, but I do miss the old one a lot here and here! Miss ya!
I am praying for you, friend! I know on a deeeeeep level what you’re going through. It is so hard. And I have heard from a dear friend that moving is like a death…you go through the same stages of grief and mourning when moving to a completely new place that you do when a loved one passes away. First, there is a surreal stage {be it excitement or simply not feeling like it is real}, then the realization of what situation you’re in {which might include feelings of frustration, fear, sadness, etc.}, and then acceptance. For the person in grief, you cycle through these stages over and over sometimes until you come to a place of true peace.
I have found this to be SO true in my own life. It was so exciting at first for us to move and then it was like, “Holy moly, what did we DO???” I have moved through cycles of grief and mourning about our move SEVERAL times. One thing I find encouraging is that this is a season for us. One that could change in an instant. The Lord knows what he has done and is doing, and I am fully confident that he will {and has} provided the peace and grace to help our hearts. You also mentioned going and DOING things. Life feels so much less lonely and weird when you venture out into your new adventure and experience life! Praying the Lord loves on you a little extra right now as you move through this. ;)
You are so, so, so, so right. I had never looked at what I was feeling as mourning something — but that really is what I was going through. I was so sad, feeling like something was wrong with me… especially because I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling this way, or even WHAT I was really feeling. Zack and I have moved many times before we moved to Minneapolis, but this was our largest move — 400 miles/12 hours from family & friends.
I’ve never felt anything so powerful like I did with realizing I have been sad over moving here. And really, I’m surprised! Moving to Minneapolis brought so much good to our family — so why was I so hung up on it? :}
You’re so sweet, Erin. Thanks for your comment… grace and peace :]
I needed to read this today. I’ve been here a little more than 3 years now, and I still find myself mourning my old life. Thanks Gus.
These feelings have been a long time coming, and even though realizing what has been bothering me doesn’t erase anything, it does fix it, in a sense, because I feel like I can finally move on from what was to what is.
What is ~ the present ~ is really *so good*.
I’m a little surprised I couldn’t see that…
[xo]
I can definitely resonate with the idea of mourning a past life, or for me, the life that could’ve been (I’m “supposed” to be in grad school, “supposed” to be auditioning for orchestras, etc). I think mourning that life is a way of celebrating what it was and what it means to who I am as a person. But it’s important for me to draw a line and not let myself get too wrapped up in the coulda/woulda/shoulda thoughts, because THIS is the life I’m supposed to be living.
Hugs, friend. I’m glad you’re taking some time to acknowledge how hard it can be to start over in a new city. I’m glad you’re here in Minneapolis!!
thanks cindy :]
we need to get together soon…
what a great post! Breaks are so so important for our mental health, IMO. They just refresh you, and let you clear your head! The fort thing… totally telling my husband we are doing that!! :) And the light rail… I went on it for the first time to a twins game the other day.. kinda fun! :) I have a puppy… well he is like 17 months old and I have always wanted to take him to a dog park, but I am too scared! Awesome post.. I think you just inspired me to make a list.. including the fort and dog park
It is always good to make time for slowing down, counting blessings, and acknowledging feelings that are often masked by the general busyness of life. As women, we are blessed to be part of a culture that values our roles and creativity, but I fear that we often forget to take care of ourselves in the race to ‘do it all’. I’ve been in Colorado Springs for 7 years now, and I still go through times of mourning the fact that I live so far from home. Grand Rapids seems to be a place where many people grow up, marry someone from high school or their home church, and live just blocks from the rest of their family. I have my sad days when i question what God was thinking to move us so far from my family, and then I consider all the wonderful things he has given us in his mercy. He has made it very clear that it was part of his PERFECT plan for us to be here in Colorado, and if I have to fight to believe it on certain days, I will! Now I’m off to email you…I can’t believe I won the giveaway! I rarely win anything, and this is by far the most exciting thing I’ve won, so thanks!
I am really inspired by your story. I feel like I’m the only one, at times, experiencing difficult trials in life. Your story is somewhat simliar to mine. I too have recently moved away from the town I spend 15 years of my life. Actually it was a dream of my husband and I to move to Nashville, Tn. I have been a teacher for the last eleven years and lost my job, the main reason we were able to come to Nashville. So we have been a recent rollor coaster ourselves. My husband also has his teaching degree and is looking for a job, but I have discovered a new passion and during this “slow time”, I am able to purse it. God has a plan for all of us, and I am excited to see the opportunities that He is going to provide. I really love your handmade creations. Look forward to reading more of your blogs. Shana
Glad to hear that you relaxed and are planning new fun things! That is SO important to prevent burnout! I did the backyard campfire this past weekend! :)
Girl you just grew a foot :)
in the wisdom direction, that is :)
I hear ya on the moving thing. We moved from Chicago to Indianapolis to be with our family. One year later, we moved again for my husband’s work (with a one month notice!!!). We have met a lot of really great people in our new town, but it is hard not having family close by! I have the same kind of personality that sometimes forgets to take a breath. I’d better go work on my fun list. :)
Good Stuff!! :) So true that we need to allow ourselves that time to “mourn”…however big or small the situation might be. So glad that you we able to get some clarity…and thanks for sharing about it here :)
Loved reading this. My husband and I found ourselves in Minneapolis 5 years ago this October. The move happened so quickly. There’s no denying that the move was for the best in many aspects, but like you, I often mourn my old life a little bit. We too left very quickly, and sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever feel 100% at home here.
I love your post. I too mourn my old life, but in a different way. My kids are grown – my daughter moved out in July and my son, while he still lives here, is in college and is never really here. I used to curse the days of soccer practice, baseball games, & PTA, but now I find myself missing them. I wouldn’t say I’m sad, I’m more melancholy. My blog and my Etsy shop are my creative outlets and they definitely fill my days and my soul. The biggest change is my relationship with my husband, Brad. During all the crazy years of raising kids, we kindof lost ourselves as a couple. It’s been great to plan new adventures together and re-connect; you are so smart to instill that in your marriage early on. Yesterday we went to a little sandwich shop and then antiquing – it was a perfect day! I think it’s healthy to mourn the past, as long as you don’t get stuck in it. I think you are doing everything just right! xo
:) Great post, my friend! I think you’re doing a fabulous job!
loved this post. my husband and i also spent a portion of our weekend organizing and budgeting {not fun, but it’s so fun to have it finished!!!}, but we followed up the work with lots of relaxation too! and you are right about everything being planned and perfect! one of my favorite quotes is from the book The Hiding Place… “there are no what-ifs in God’s world.” such a good reminder when things seem uncertain!
What an inspiring post. Thank you! And I saw you in the Sept/Oct issue of Simply Handmade. It was a nice little article about Gussy Sews. :)
So good to read this. You actually defined a huge struggle expats go through, and I’ll be honest. It never occurred to me that it could happen when you live in the same country and move to another part. But that’s so silly of me. Why wouldn’t it?!
Thanks for opening up and sharing this piece of you.
xox
Love this post! I’ve read your blog for a while and always find myself inspired. This time I find myself sharing in those feelings; I wrote about it last week, and share in both missing home (Michigan for me too) and rejoicing in God’s perfect plan in our new city. The Mitten is a hard place to leave :)
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