Secrets to a Happy Marriage

“Don’t forget to keep ‘dating’ after you’re married. Getting all dolled up and going out on the town, sneaking kisses in the movie theater — these help keep things exciting!”

“Don’t complain or talk badly about your husband to your friends, parents, or siblings. You’ll forgive him long before they do. Keep your mouth shut or talk to him about whatever is bothering you. Otherwise, you risk having your relationship judged or commented on by others. And if you have to get it out, write in a journal. Diaries are nonjudgmental, and you’ll be more likely to share the bad and the good of your marriage.”

“Don’t think that there won’t be any problems after the wedding. There are bound to be difficulties. The key is to face them and get over them. Talk about what you’re feeling and don’t try to hide your problems from your spouse — they’ll only explode later on. It’s like when you have a wound: Putting alcohol on it hurts immensely, but it disinfects it, stops it from getting worse, and heals it. Talking things out works the same way.”

“Sleep naked!”

“Give yourselves at least one day each week to act like children — like very best friends who have the whole day to do nothing but act ridiculous and laugh hysterically at nothing in particular. By obliging the everyday routine of the workweek, you tend to overlook the true purpose of life: enjoying each other and building a happy, memorable life together. I also recommend getting a dog. To me, this piece of advice is the most important because it allows a couple to have a gentle escape when you just need that extra bit of companionship. Pick a dog that fits your lifestyle and see what an amazing change this new friend can bring into your life.”

“Always remember you don’t own your spouse — your spouse is a gift, not a possession.”

“Be the bigger person — be the first to apologize. I personally struggle with this. I don’t want to be the first to say sorry! But marriage is more important than our own little self-interests, so I try.”

“Nobody is perfect, not even you. Just remember that when he forgets something important or messes up; you could eventually do that too. And when you do, youll hope he won’t hold it over your head for the next 50 years!”

“You need to be willing to make more than 50 percent of the effort nearly all of the time. This isn’t about being a doormat; it’s about really giving your all to the relationship and doing what’s best for you as a couple. Don’t be territorial about things, like who changes the toilet paper roll. If each partner puts in what he or she perceives as more than half the effort, things will work pretty well.”

“No marriage is perfect or easy, and both people must work at it. Sometimes, you just have to go with the flow. Build a strong team structure. Once that’s in place, then think about kids.”